birth control

something that your mom forgot to use before you were born.
*while giving birth*

Your mom: Damn, I should have used birth control....
Your dad: Damn straight!
by viva_la_gloria July 28, 2009
Get the birth control mug.

birth control

Screaming or crying children that kill any desire for sex for those that hear their earpiercing shrieks.
Do you hear that screaming baby? That's the sound of birth control.
by Kitty Vicuna April 13, 2008
Get the birth control mug.

birth control

A way to save a lot of money over the next 18 years.
"Dude, I'm glad that skank was on birth control! I can't afford to be her baby daddy."
by Trojan Man! January 23, 2010
Get the birth control mug.

BIRTH CONTROL

1)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology that mysteriously becomes
less reliable for a woman-the wealthier a man is.
2)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology that has been available-in
at least nine different forms to women-for now about
50 YEARS.(There's only two for men:Condom.Vasectomy.)This means nine different forms BEFORE you even
touch abortion or sterilization...But "unplanned"/unwanted
kids still get here.
3)An EXTREMELY RELIABLE technology-available more to women
than men.Yet newsmedia continues to blame men for
irresponsible breeding.Interesting.I've never met a man
who decided when a baby would be born.
SPORTS ANCHOR:"On the day of the draft-the now rich,young QUARTERBACK
found himself served with PATERNITY SUIT papers."

CHICK TO DUDE:"It's okay.I'm on the BIRTH CONTROL pill.My
doctor says I can't get pregnant anyway.I
just want to FEEL you."

SAME CHICK TO GIRLFRIEND 90 DAYS LATER:"I don't know how it
happened.I was'nt planning on this...but I
don't believe in abortion.Sooo..."
by L.MARTIN September 03, 2006
Get the BIRTH CONTROL mug.

birth control

1.) The most horrific thing you could ever find out that your girlfriend was on before you met her if she is your first bareback. The single handed most mentally destructive piece of information a man could ever permanantly burden himself with.

2.) The biggest cause of retroactive jealousy and primal rage known in existence.
Me : Dude my gf told me she was on birth control with her last two extremely long term bfs before I met her, now my mind is plagued with thoughts of semen gushing out of her snatch every time I get near it.

Bystander : dump that cum dumpster?
by poortourcheredsoul October 06, 2010
Get the birth control mug.

European Birth Control

Claudette wasn't into taking the pill or using condoms, so she opted for European Birth Control... w00t!
by Dentura Hogfloss June 24, 2008
Get the European Birth Control mug.

Birth Control Glasses

In the US Air Force the eyeglasses issued are thick, black-horned-rimmed eyeglasses that are so ugly, they make the person wearing them equally unappealing to the opposite sex, so there is virtually no danger of them impregnating or getting impregnated.
I was in Air Force basic training when they issued me my birth control glasses.
by Smokey March 04, 2005
Get the Birth Control Glasses mug.