by GaryWinthrop69 April 21, 2017
Get the stop she was in my biology class mug.AP Biology represents a syndrome of symptoms discussed below.
It is synonymous with "the cure for procrastination."
The days leading to the test are packed with struggle, cynicism, and apathy, but with a good teacher, students can make it. They experience symptoms akin to bacterial meningitis as their brain struggles to process the sheer quantity of information. By the end of the year, however, only the willful and skillful remain.
AP Condition 5 ~ Final Month (2 chapters/day reviewed)
Ap Condition 4 ~ Final 2 Weeks (4 chapters reviewed per day)
AP Condition 3 ~ Final Week (10 chapters per day)
AP Condition 2 ~ Last 3 Days (intravenous red bull injection)
AP Condition 1 ~ AP Test Day
The day after:
At this point, students begin to feel lightheaded. Many may slip into brief periods of unconsciousness as their brain begins to populate the 200-300 petabytes of neuronal storage and memories associated with biology with new cells.
Neurons exit G0 and start dividing once more. Soon, the students will be able to remember their names, their family member's names, and for some even their address.
The subsequent years of healing and therapy will be hard, but students will always know it was worth it. None are procrastinators any longer. AP Biology has either cured them or applied Darwinian principles to their existence.
It is synonymous with "the cure for procrastination."
The days leading to the test are packed with struggle, cynicism, and apathy, but with a good teacher, students can make it. They experience symptoms akin to bacterial meningitis as their brain struggles to process the sheer quantity of information. By the end of the year, however, only the willful and skillful remain.
AP Condition 5 ~ Final Month (2 chapters/day reviewed)
Ap Condition 4 ~ Final 2 Weeks (4 chapters reviewed per day)
AP Condition 3 ~ Final Week (10 chapters per day)
AP Condition 2 ~ Last 3 Days (intravenous red bull injection)
AP Condition 1 ~ AP Test Day
The day after:
At this point, students begin to feel lightheaded. Many may slip into brief periods of unconsciousness as their brain begins to populate the 200-300 petabytes of neuronal storage and memories associated with biology with new cells.
Neurons exit G0 and start dividing once more. Soon, the students will be able to remember their names, their family member's names, and for some even their address.
The subsequent years of healing and therapy will be hard, but students will always know it was worth it. None are procrastinators any longer. AP Biology has either cured them or applied Darwinian principles to their existence.
We will no longer say AP Biology is like drowning. We will say drowning is like AP Biology.
~Gregorious Maximus
*To a student that's gone into shock as his brain has run out of memory from AP Biology*
"Take a chill pill Potter."
~Gregorious Maximus
*When discussing Photosynthesis and the carbon fixation involving RuBP Carboxylase*
"Rubisco is a street term. Only gangsters call it Rubisco. To you, it is R-U-B-P Carboxylase."
~Gregorious Maximus
*When a teacher-observer from administration asks why the children are testing in the dark*
"Tell'er __REDACTED__ "
__REDACTED__ *Robotically *: "The rods within one's eyes dynamically adjust levels of phosphorylated rhodopsin which is a slow process. By shutting the lights off, we can no longer cheat but can barely see our papers."
Gregorious Maximus: "Very good. You will one day be worthy of the title 'Biologist'".
*To students whose work has failed to meet the rigorous standards of format and quality anticipated by the class*
Gregorious Maximus: "This, this is fecal matter!
*To a group of students which turned in differing data in their lab reports*
Gregorious Maximus:
*Breaks Meter Stick In Half* "You have 1 minute to tell me who's data is the most valid."
Students: *Panicking noises*
*Disclaimer: Gregorious Maximus bears no similarities to any real people. He is a transcended being representing everyone's favorite, most loved, most treasured, and hardest teacher.*
~Gregorious Maximus
*To a student that's gone into shock as his brain has run out of memory from AP Biology*
"Take a chill pill Potter."
~Gregorious Maximus
*When discussing Photosynthesis and the carbon fixation involving RuBP Carboxylase*
"Rubisco is a street term. Only gangsters call it Rubisco. To you, it is R-U-B-P Carboxylase."
~Gregorious Maximus
*When a teacher-observer from administration asks why the children are testing in the dark*
"Tell'er __REDACTED__ "
__REDACTED__ *Robotically *: "The rods within one's eyes dynamically adjust levels of phosphorylated rhodopsin which is a slow process. By shutting the lights off, we can no longer cheat but can barely see our papers."
Gregorious Maximus: "Very good. You will one day be worthy of the title 'Biologist'".
*To students whose work has failed to meet the rigorous standards of format and quality anticipated by the class*
Gregorious Maximus: "This, this is fecal matter!
*To a group of students which turned in differing data in their lab reports*
Gregorious Maximus:
*Breaks Meter Stick In Half* "You have 1 minute to tell me who's data is the most valid."
Students: *Panicking noises*
*Disclaimer: Gregorious Maximus bears no similarities to any real people. He is a transcended being representing everyone's favorite, most loved, most treasured, and hardest teacher.*
by TheGreatDefinerOfWords December 5, 2017
Get the AP Biology mug.1. The scientific study of life.
2. One of the many things that has been pissing off religious zealots for decades. A drop in a bucket, really.
3. One of the many things that has been pissing off about 90% of all students for decades.
4. The 21st century counterpart to physics/chemistry (20th century) and mechanics (19th century).
2. One of the many things that has been pissing off religious zealots for decades. A drop in a bucket, really.
3. One of the many things that has been pissing off about 90% of all students for decades.
4. The 21st century counterpart to physics/chemistry (20th century) and mechanics (19th century).
by William H. Gates III March 8, 2005
Get the biology mug.an unusual process in which a collection of highly organized atoms try to figure out how they themselves work
Isn't it weird that atoms can contemplate their own existence?Think about it. Biology is fucking weird.
by o'haquille sneal December 31, 2011
Get the biology mug.A subject that should be avoided at all costs. Taking such subject may result in ending up in a concentration camp with no windows and no first amendment rights for 10 or more hours a week, depending on how many detentions one has.
by SavetheEstuaries March 5, 2009
Get the IB Biology mug.A never-ending course of destruction and despair rendering innocent, unsuspecting students in an irreparable state of insensibility and incoherent muttering. This course is designed to produce a free and renewable source of distant cries for schools across the nation. 70% of class time is spent doing anything but biology, including but not limited to: chemistry, physics, making tables, inventing new ways to yell at computers, and, of course, math. All AP Bio students will encourage others to take the course next year, so long as they have not had class for at least 2 hours prior and it is not a lab week.
Student A: Hey, how'd your AP Biology lab go?
Student B: Not bad. I only had 10 plants die this time. I finally have one that lived!
Student A: We were only supposed to have 8 plants.
Student B: AP BIOOOO!!!
Student A: How'd you do on the immune system test.
Student B: 28!!
Student A: Niceee
Student B: Not bad. I only had 10 plants die this time. I finally have one that lived!
Student A: We were only supposed to have 8 plants.
Student B: AP BIOOOO!!!
Student A: How'd you do on the immune system test.
Student B: 28!!
Student A: Niceee
by Billy Bob Jenkins IX March 20, 2013
Get the AP Biology mug.Shortened name for the Church of the Subgenious.
Bob Dobbs is the enigmatic leader and underlying philosopher espousing the virtues of "Slack"
Bob Dobbs is the enigmatic leader and underlying philosopher espousing the virtues of "Slack"
by Bobbert the Bobologist July 7, 2009
Get the Bobology mug.