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It's Not Easy Being Greene

Marjorie Taylor's lament and no doubt her future campaign theme song, in what's sure to be a groundbreaking presidential bid.
To anyone who thought she effortlessly nailed the Gazpacho Police stalking the halls of congress, compared mask mandates to the Holocaust, or informed the citizenry of the United States that America was officially a Christian Nationalist country, Marjorie, capitalizing on her uncanny resemblance to Miss Piggy, lured Kermit into harmonizing with her as they sang "It's not easy being Greene".
by Monkey's Dad July 29, 2022
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The Man Behind The Slaughter

I dunno what I was thinking
Leaving my child behind
Now I suffer the curse
And now I am blind
With all this anger, guilt and sadness
Coming to haunt me forever
I can't wait for the cliff at the end of the river
Is this revenge I am seeking
Or seeking someone to avange me
Stuck in my own paradox
I wanna set myself free
Maybe I should chase and find
Before they'll try to stop it
It won't be long before I'll become a puppet
It's been so long
Since I last have seen my son
Lost to this monster
To the man behind the slaughter
Since you've been gone
I've been singing this stupid song
So I could ponder
The sanity of your mother
I wish I lived in the present
With the gift of my past mistakes
But the future keeps luring in like a pack of snakes
Your sweet little eyes
Your little smile, is all I remember
Those fuzzy memories mess with my temper
Justification is killing me
But killing isn't justified
What happened to my son, I'm terrified
It lingers in my mind
And the thought keeps on getting bigger
I'm sorry my sweet baby
I wish I've been there
It's been so long
Since I last have seen my son
Lost to this monster
To the man behind the slaughter
Since you've been gone
I've been singing this stupid song
So I could ponder
The sanity of your mother
Friend: "I officially killed six kids. I am the man behind the slaughter"
by BellyLikeJelly April 3, 2020
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Monkey Beating An Engine With A Hammer

A parable passed down for generations describing the futility of the unintelligent to perform simple tasks.

Since ancient times, when an imbecile, ill-advised coworker or friend has attempted an assignment beyond their capabilities, they are often compared to a monkey endlessly trying to fix an engine that won't start by beating on it with a hammer, because monkeys do not possess the skills of a mechanic.
After being shown how twice, Dan never did learn how to open the fence, so it rained on him a few hours later. He was just like a Monkey Beating An Engine With A Hammer that day.
by Louisiana Gold December 21, 2008
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seasons' beatings

These are domestic fights that occur when friends, relatives and alcohol all mix on holidays!
Dispatch to all units in the area of 5th and Lafferty we have a large domestic fight reported, seasons' beatings!
by I, Wreckerrr November 12, 2020
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beating army

A common colloquialism for "jerking off" at the US Naval Academy. Perhaps the most popular pastime among male midshipmen, due to a natural aversion towards dark siding, a general lack of attractive young women, and the ever present fear of being SAPR'd. Not to be confused with the female equivalent, "plebing your cover", which is a play on the term for the way freshmen (plebes) carry their covers (hats) by spreading their hand on the inside and carrying by their side.
I caught my roommate beating army last night. I'm not comfortable in the room anymore.
by Chesty J December 1, 2014
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Being english about it

You don’t do people any favours, go above and beyond or do anything above your pay grade. If it does not benefit you directly you don’t want to know.
I asked Bill to help me but he was ignoring me and being english about it. He didn’t wanna know because the task is not in his job description.
by McVin July 23, 2021
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ear beating

When a person keeps talking to you until your ears start to feel actual physical pain from the steady flow of inane shit that is coming out of their mouth.
Ear Beater: "...So, then I realized that to de-worm my Cocker Spaniel, I would probably have to get it to stop eating shit, but before I did that I would need to let it out of its cage. Whenever I let that little fucker out of his cage he just pisses on everything. You know who else pisses on everything? Steve. One time he pissed on my Cocker Spaniel..."

Victim's Mind: Oh my fucking God, this is the worst ear beating ever.
by miguel666 January 2, 2014
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