In mathematics, an asymptote is a line that continually approaches a given curve but does not meet it at any finite distance. In other words, though it curves towards zero, it approaches it indefinitely and never actually reaches it.
Asymptoting describes the phenomenon in which despite the regular passage of time, your relative perception of time appears to slow as you get closer to an event, date, time, etc. Because the line never reaches zero, but travels towards it for infinity, you too feel as if you will infinitely travel towards something that you will never reach. Much like the phenomenon of running towards a door in a dream, but never quite reaching it even though you are covering ground.
Asymptoting describes the phenomenon in which despite the regular passage of time, your relative perception of time appears to slow as you get closer to an event, date, time, etc. Because the line never reaches zero, but travels towards it for infinity, you too feel as if you will infinitely travel towards something that you will never reach. Much like the phenomenon of running towards a door in a dream, but never quite reaching it even though you are covering ground.
Rocko couldn't believe his luck! He had just won an all-expenses paid trip to visit Paris, where he could finally meet the girl of his dreams, Claudette! The only problem was that the trip was a whole month away! Poor Rocko. He was so excited to go, that one month felt like six. Time dragged on. Rocko was asymptoting. HARD.
"Why is this year asymptoting?!" Filburt lamented. "I can't wait for it to be over! Oh fishsticks!"
Heffer hated weekly team meetings at the Chokey Chicken. "I'm getting hungry!" Heffer thought to himself. "Surely thirty minutes must have passed." He looked at the clock. To his dismay, only six minutes had gone by. Heffer heard his stomach growl. "Even my stomach is asymptoting!" he thought.
Ed Bighead dutifully went to work every day, dreaming of a day in which he could finally get "the big office." In his younger days, Ed felt a sense of accomplishment with his work at Conglom-O. But now that Ed was pushing 55, he instead felt himself asymptoting; working endlessly towards a goal he would never meet.
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"Why is this year asymptoting?!" Filburt lamented. "I can't wait for it to be over! Oh fishsticks!"
Heffer hated weekly team meetings at the Chokey Chicken. "I'm getting hungry!" Heffer thought to himself. "Surely thirty minutes must have passed." He looked at the clock. To his dismay, only six minutes had gone by. Heffer heard his stomach growl. "Even my stomach is asymptoting!" he thought.
Ed Bighead dutifully went to work every day, dreaming of a day in which he could finally get "the big office." In his younger days, Ed felt a sense of accomplishment with his work at Conglom-O. But now that Ed was pushing 55, he instead felt himself asymptoting; working endlessly towards a goal he would never meet.
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by Justine the Christmas Elf November 18, 2019
Get the Asymptoting mug.At the Beta Sigma Omega Math Olympiads, Devin walked up to Melissa and looked at her graph of the function, and then tried to suavely say "Hey there, lady, nice asymptotes - can I see them closer?"
by Adel7 January 6, 2008
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-noun: a guy/girl that has a crush on someone and shows it but never does anything about it, just keeps his/her distance.
by paopao89 May 2, 2009
Get the asymptote mug.A friend you have always been close to, and continue to get closer to every day, but you will never date them, because they are an ass.
by RowdyDiversion June 5, 2016
Get the Assymptote mug.A straight line that is the limiting value of a curve. It can have many different equations and is the most important factor in curve sketches and other similar mathematical sectors.
by Dan October 10, 2003
Get the asymptote mug.A type of sexuality where one participates in nearly all sexual acts, except intercourse. Individuals of this lifestyle are willing to "do things" up until a certain point, but never cross that line or axis of actual intercourse, much like how an asymtote is a curved line that increasingly approaches and axis, but never cross (or penetrate) that line. Mutual masturbation, fellatio, cunninglingus, etc are all fair game, but one's virginity is maintained.
Also called Asymsexual.
Also called Asymsexual.
Because Mary believes in stupid promise rings, she won't have sex until marriage. However, everything else is fair game, including blowies and anal. She is a total Asymptotic Sexual.
by ProfessorOtter December 1, 2013
Get the Asymptotic Sexual mug.The asymptote is a sexual maneuver wherein the object is to get as close to the vagina/anus without actually entering.
It is a difficult position, though, as approaching the event horizon may result in prejaculation.
It is a difficult position, though, as approaching the event horizon may result in prejaculation.
The easiest way to preform the asymptote is to, every few seconds or so (depending on how quickly you want to approach), move the tip of the penis half the remaining distance closer.
by The6thDegree June 30, 2008
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