Ass-handed

A metaphore implying that a person permanently has both hands up their own ass.
Did you see that guy on his phone? That ass-handed bitch made me miss the green light!
by Obnoxshus Rapper October 08, 2017
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ass hands

Hands that are attached to your ass that help you 'back there'. They don't wipe but they do love their peel and eat shrimp!
My ass hands are at the buffet eating peel and eat shrimp.

Damn this shopping is heavy, wish I had a pair of ass hands.
by Doktor Odd August 11, 2007
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Ass Hands

When your hands both look and feel like ass. A bizarre peeling condition when the skin on your hands peels off and grow back and the process repeats itself.
I am embarassed by my ass hands, they make it difficult to touch other people.
by Buffdaddy26 March 21, 2009
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ass hands

A symtom resulting from handing out ass all day.
Dude, I've gotta rest seeing as how I have a horrible case of ass hands.
by Jaggo March 21, 2004
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Ass Hand

Putting ones hand in their ass when its hot and sweaty and walking behind someone and putting the ass hand in the others face. Sometimes breaking thru the lips and fingers slipping into the mouth. Also the ass juice sticks to the face so they will smell it for awhile.
OMG JOSH JUST GAVE ME A ASS HAND.

OMG IT STILL STINKS
by tedcarl December 12, 2010
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ass handed

To chide, scold or reprimand; to deliver a mild rebuke; to request that one chill.
After Peach announced that any further posts containing his hairy-butt photo would henceforth be summarily deleted, Austin got his ass handed to him.
by dalnat October 09, 2008
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To beat someone so bad that their ass becomes a jiggling mass of gel hanging off their spine, allowing you to rip it off and place it in their hands as they collapse into a heap of excruciating pain. After the beaten person finishes convulsing, you place their severed posterior next to their lips so that it looks like they are kissing their own ass while posting hilarious videos to social media.
by IGKYA53 October 02, 2020
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