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Parents: "Aww! Our baby is finally talking!"

The Baby: "You dumb fucking cretin, You fucking fool. absolute fucking buffoon. you bumbling idiot, fuck you"
by notjakelmao November 4, 2020
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Absolute Fucker

A person who goes on vacations when he's several years late on a deadline then acts put upon when people call him out on it.

Also a person who lures people into his home with promises of lemony cakes only to serve them Wild Cards and miniature sex dolls.
Me: Some would say that GRRM is an absolute fucker.

You: I agree with them.

Me: Hey, me too!

You: OK, it is settled then.
by Ye Olde Man Winter August 25, 2010
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absolutey tooty

did you take that chick to bed last night?absolutey tooty
by pussy bee October 26, 2019
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Absolute Unit

A person or object, who is large in the sense nothing can get in their way.
Oh, Look over at Whomas, That absolute unit just barged through that crowd!
by BigWhomas September 29, 2018
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Absolute Madlad

A true madlad is a combination of fearlessness & a total lack of common sense & self preservation. Always a contender for either the Darwin Awards or a prison sentence. Something along the lines of going on a bulldozer rampage in protest, booby-trapping a cabin built on land without a permit, ice fishing with dynamite, or attempting to do yoga on the ledge or flag poll of an apartment complex.
Only an absolute madlad like Inspector Zenigata would jump onto a race track during a race in an attempt to arrest a driver.
by Lieutenant Bacon Waffles November 24, 2019
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Absolute fucking walnut

An insult that is used if someone is stupider than a fucking dumbass
In what world is a fish a kind of parrot, you absolute fucking walnut
by yaboi_doop October 29, 2018
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Absolute Unit

Someone or something that has the shear mass or presence that makes your jaw drop and/or give the utmost respect to.
Police officer: IT'S A STAND OFF OUT HERE!
Sheriff: Send 'Him' out.
*Absolute Unit steps out of patrol car and everyone takes a knee*
*Suspect immediately turns himself in*
by Yobbbh August 23, 2018
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