by dhdoctor April 9, 2021
Get the Fem&m's mug.Whenever I get a package of plain M&M's, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I make them have M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my forefinger and thumb, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the 'loser' and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner get to go to the next round.
I have found that, in general, brown and red M&Ms are tougher, while the blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense ring of competition and cracks under the pressure of being in the modern candy and snack food world.
Occasionally I will come across a mutation, a candy that is mishapen, pointier or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this seems to be a weakness but on very rare occassions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the candy continues to adapt in it's enviroment.
When I finish the package, I am left with one M&M. The strongest of the herd. Since it wouldn't make any sense to eat this one as well, I package it up with a letter that says "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes" and send it back to
M&M Mars, A division of Mars INC in Hackettstown, NJ
They wrote back this week thanking me and gve me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of M&MS.
This weekend there will be a tournament of epic protortions.
There can only be one champion.
Taking two candies between my forefinger and thumb, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the 'loser' and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner get to go to the next round.
I have found that, in general, brown and red M&Ms are tougher, while the blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense ring of competition and cracks under the pressure of being in the modern candy and snack food world.
Occasionally I will come across a mutation, a candy that is mishapen, pointier or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this seems to be a weakness but on very rare occassions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the candy continues to adapt in it's enviroment.
When I finish the package, I am left with one M&M. The strongest of the herd. Since it wouldn't make any sense to eat this one as well, I package it up with a letter that says "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes" and send it back to
M&M Mars, A division of Mars INC in Hackettstown, NJ
They wrote back this week thanking me and gve me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of M&MS.
This weekend there will be a tournament of epic protortions.
There can only be one champion.
Tara: "What the hell are you doing, Kaele?"
Kaele: "M&M Duels of course!"
Tara: "... Can I watch??"
Kaele: >:D
Kaele: "M&M Duels of course!"
Tara: "... Can I watch??"
Kaele: >:D
by ObbyKaele March 19, 2009
Get the M&M Duels mug.by nope12334455667567 August 31, 2007
Get the E-M-S mug.An internet troll who pisses people off by saying incorrect information, and often makes fools of people because of how they respond. He's not bitter like other trolls, instead, he has the vibe of an old confused man.
by 2see August 6, 2017
Get the Ken M mug.adj. The state of being convinced one is suffering from an illness/disorder/etc. much more severe than what one really has based on a Web M.D. diagnosis.
Ty: I researched my symptoms online, and I think I may have a brain tumor.
Cassie: That's Ty; he's Web M.D.-lusional.
Cassie: That's Ty; he's Web M.D.-lusional.
by clarke paley December 4, 2010
Get the Web M.D.-lusional mug.by anonymous March 1, 2021
Get the L.M.S.T.S.O.O.Y.D.U.Y.N.A.O.M.F mug.True Meaning of Christmas - inserting strands of decorative lights into your anal cavity, then inserting a lidless glass jar(as large as possible) mouth-side open towards the anus, turning on the lights, then standing up(as much as possible) and "birthing" the lights back into the jar, and(if successful) using extension cords to show everyone your accomplishment
Gary ate nothing but asparagus all day, so when the jar broke, his green feces mixed with the red blood and made for the best T.M.O.C. ever.
by Protatoes January 18, 2018
Get the T.M.O.C. mug.