John McCain (Born June 19th, 2086) is an American politican, God and time traveling warrior.
John McCain was genetically engineered in an American Research Facility. Unlike normal humans, McCain contains bodily many organs which allow him to fly, shoot lasers from his eyes, and amass incredible amounts of strength. McCain's skin produced a special layer of transparent nacho cheese, allowing him to time travel without damaging his body or the space time continuum.
McCain attended West Point, where he killed fitty Notre Dame fans at a football game. Because he was soo cool, President Jack Lambert granted him a pardon, and made him Secretary of keeping it real. While there, we was deployed on a secret mission to infiltrate the Soviet Union III. While there, he stripped the sacred burrito from the hands of Josef Stalin and ran it for a 50 yard touch down return. As McCain devoured the burrito, he became immortal, and banished the ghost of George W. Bush from existence with his mind.
As McCain returned to the United States, he was promoted to Arch Duke of Arizona. While there, one of his servants, Adolf Hitler traveled to 1902 and managed to take over the world. Because Adolf was not certified to do this, s a rip in the space time continuum began to slowy destroy the world. McCain warped back to past in pursuit of Hitler, and pwned him. As McCain was about to put Hitler in the Scorpion death-lock, Hitler managed to throw Sand in McCain's eyes and ran away to Germany.
While he was in the past, he killed twenty fundamentalistsand made thier children eat his shit. Never the less, McCain's battle with Hitler had drained his powers, leaving him incapable of escaping from the past for awhile.
While in old Arizona, McCain killed an entire family with his toes, and seized thier home. While claiming residency there, McCain went to war, won a bunch of medals, became a hero, scored with a bunch of really hot girls, and eventually became senator. In 1982, McCain's powers had fully recharged. Although he was eager to return back to the year 21st Century, he realized that he needed to stay, and protect Nachos and porno.
After forseeing the Notre Dame Football team taking over the world, McCain, Thurgood Marshall, and Brian Urlacher traveled forward in time (because all of them pwned they didn't have to worry about all that space time shit). While in the future they struck down all the Notre Dame players, who were armed with Uzis, usinh only their bare hands. Following thier victory, they went back to the present, and smoked up with Zakk Wylde.
John McCain was genetically engineered in an American Research Facility. Unlike normal humans, McCain contains bodily many organs which allow him to fly, shoot lasers from his eyes, and amass incredible amounts of strength. McCain's skin produced a special layer of transparent nacho cheese, allowing him to time travel without damaging his body or the space time continuum.
McCain attended West Point, where he killed fitty Notre Dame fans at a football game. Because he was soo cool, President Jack Lambert granted him a pardon, and made him Secretary of keeping it real. While there, we was deployed on a secret mission to infiltrate the Soviet Union III. While there, he stripped the sacred burrito from the hands of Josef Stalin and ran it for a 50 yard touch down return. As McCain devoured the burrito, he became immortal, and banished the ghost of George W. Bush from existence with his mind.
As McCain returned to the United States, he was promoted to Arch Duke of Arizona. While there, one of his servants, Adolf Hitler traveled to 1902 and managed to take over the world. Because Adolf was not certified to do this, s a rip in the space time continuum began to slowy destroy the world. McCain warped back to past in pursuit of Hitler, and pwned him. As McCain was about to put Hitler in the Scorpion death-lock, Hitler managed to throw Sand in McCain's eyes and ran away to Germany.
While he was in the past, he killed twenty fundamentalistsand made thier children eat his shit. Never the less, McCain's battle with Hitler had drained his powers, leaving him incapable of escaping from the past for awhile.
While in old Arizona, McCain killed an entire family with his toes, and seized thier home. While claiming residency there, McCain went to war, won a bunch of medals, became a hero, scored with a bunch of really hot girls, and eventually became senator. In 1982, McCain's powers had fully recharged. Although he was eager to return back to the year 21st Century, he realized that he needed to stay, and protect Nachos and porno.
After forseeing the Notre Dame Football team taking over the world, McCain, Thurgood Marshall, and Brian Urlacher traveled forward in time (because all of them pwned they didn't have to worry about all that space time shit). While in the future they struck down all the Notre Dame players, who were armed with Uzis, usinh only their bare hands. Following thier victory, they went back to the present, and smoked up with Zakk Wylde.
by kodiac1 July 06, 2006
John McCain is old. He is also running for President. People make political jokes about his age. Lawls ensue.
by Ho'nique D July 11, 2008
Senator from Arizona. 2000 and 2008 predsidential candidate. Supports amnesty for illegal immigrants, and restricting political speech. is a RINO and a flip flopper.
Nicknames "Weathervane McCain" "Maverick"
Nicknames "Weathervane McCain" "Maverick"
by Ted Merriman October 29, 2007
another far right reactionary who pretends to be a moderate so he can get votes for his anti-choice pro-coporate war-mongering policies. Has a black baby and went crazy in Vietnam after getting his ass whooped by POWs. Also in the mid 1980's caught in the middle of the Keating Five S&L scandal. Dodged trouble because of the so called "liberal" media.
No matter what the corporate media says, this man has no base in his party, and will not win over moderate voters. They will see that he is another right wing fascist. Not even his black baby will vote for him.
by John Michaels February 15, 2005
Please refer to RINO and Republicrat.The prime candidate for switching affiliation to the Democrats.
John McCain wastes too much time on caring about how the Gitmo detainees are treated over this nation's safety. What a Republican In Name Only.
by Piranha September 30, 2006
Cindy: "Honey, can we go home now, this 24/7 campaigning is pretty tiring"
John: "Shut your face you cunt. I only married you for your family's money, you Barbie shrink wrapped trollop cum dump."
Fox News reporter: "That John McCain, what a passionate guy. I can't believe people would quote him out of context"
John: "Shut your face you cunt. I only married you for your family's money, you Barbie shrink wrapped trollop cum dump."
Fox News reporter: "That John McCain, what a passionate guy. I can't believe people would quote him out of context"
by schmarn May 14, 2008
Well-known Republican senator from Arizona. Best known for having served in Vietnam, having a bad temper, and being a moderate Republican.
Contrary to popular belief, McCain isn't a liberal Republican. In fact, he is pro-life and supports many of the ideas of the Republican platform. He is very popular with the "liberal" media because of his controversy and slight deviation from the traditional values of the Right.
Although he supports Dubya in this war, there is some speculation that McCain is merely catering to the far-right Republicans in his party that don't like him.
Whether this is true or not, John McCain is a heroic, patriotic American who isn't afraid to stand up for what he believes in. Hopefully, he'll continue to follow his own beliefs instead of being another Republican puppet.
Contrary to popular belief, McCain isn't a liberal Republican. In fact, he is pro-life and supports many of the ideas of the Republican platform. He is very popular with the "liberal" media because of his controversy and slight deviation from the traditional values of the Right.
Although he supports Dubya in this war, there is some speculation that McCain is merely catering to the far-right Republicans in his party that don't like him.
Whether this is true or not, John McCain is a heroic, patriotic American who isn't afraid to stand up for what he believes in. Hopefully, he'll continue to follow his own beliefs instead of being another Republican puppet.
John Kerry considered John McCain for a running mate, even though their political beliefs are quite different.
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I love this guy.
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I love this guy.
by anonymous December 14, 2004