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Beard

The best solution to any problem. A sort of spiritual band-aid that's only effective when used by men.
Dude, my girlfriend dumped me, but I grew this beard and now I feel great!
by sweatervest December 4, 2009
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Beard

A condition that causes hair to grow from the chin and lower face. Symptoms include itching, divinity and gratuitous awesomeness.

Synonyms include: Jesus.
Oh Lord! Bless us and our kin with thy Beard and help our facial hair achieve but a portion of thine Beardly glory.
by Brahmes Christus April 10, 2011
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beard

A common word used to address a homosexual's female friend who he takes around town; he normally calls this companion his "girlfriend" to prove to the world that he is a masculine, football watching, titty grabbing heterosexual male. Although, he may think that this so called 'image' is working, he's actually fooling himself. It's completely obvious to on-lookers that he is a flamboyant homo. Gayer than a chihuahua in pink shades.

Here are some warning signs that you may be a beard...

1. He wears more makeup than you.
2. He looks fucking FIERCE in pictures 'cause he smiles wit' his eyes.
3. Uses bronzer as blush
4. Plucks his own eyebrows and his eyebrows look more groomed than yours.
5. Stands with hands on his hips.
Who the hell does Gayfron think that he is fooling? We all know that Vanessa Hudgens is his beard.

Have you ever watched Sunset Tan? Nick's beard sort of looks like a tranny.
by Sharkie Sharks September 21, 2007
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Beard

A woman who is being used to hide a man’s true affections for another woman or man.
“Max is so over Celeste, look at him with Jasmine. He’s really into her, isn’t he?”

“You haven’t been paying attention, he’s been watching Celeste all night. Jasmine is just his beard to make it look like he’s over her but it’s so obvious he’s trying to make her jealous.”
by Vasper November 26, 2020
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Beard

He’s the strong and silent type, is Beardy. Don’t get him angry, though. Very loyal. Definitely a bonus to have him on your side in a fight, I can tell ya. But, really, don’t make him angry! He’ll get all up in your grill and lay down a shockingly filth-laden tirade right out in public. He once told me to, and I quote, “...go get Ape-Raped until you’re rendered into a fuck-stew of effluence and hate...”

And people argue that beards can’t talk!
“I just got beard-slapped by that beard attached to that guy over there.”
by Binnjiminn July 3, 2019
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beard

Beards are definately cool. Whether you have a beard or not, respect the power of the beard, think of how many different types of people have a beard. I dont like steriotyping but, Stoners, Moshers, Gangsters, Skaters, Bikers, Pimps, the list goes on. Everyone loves a beard and if you get it right it looks smart as fuck.
Bill Bailey - 'My eventual aim is to grow my beard, plat it into my pubes and play it like a harp'
by (*Sean*) October 11, 2006
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Beard

Psedonym for Commander Riker from Star Trek the Next Generation. The name originated from the observation that if Riker has a beard in any given episode, that episode will be a good one (and, consequently, a beard-less Riker indicates a sub-par episode). Over time, "Beard" came to replace Riker's name, in that he can be referred to simply as "Beard" (or, the less cool-sounding, "The Beard")
Nobody messes with Beard, not even Picard.

Beard singlehandedly saved the Enterprise.

Wow, Beard went crazy in this episode!
by Hewoah August 11, 2010
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