a theory that racism doesn’t exist and it’s all just a big coincidence that minoritized peoples have ended up where they are in Western societies, particularly the US; often espoused by people who are defensively insistent not only that they are not racist, but that there is no way they could possibly BE racist.
Forget what they learning in school, this prejudice moron must have learned more about Coincidental Race Theory from his own ignorant parents.
by Shogunn2517 July 6, 2021
Get the Coincidental Race Theory mug.When you are out of ideas to tell your friend why he cannot get a girlfriend, or female attraction. So you have to be nice and say it’s the quality of his camera, say he needs a new phone.
No Jacob, you’re not ugly. Just get a new phone, the women will be all around you! It’s called the New-Phone Theory!
by Djay_man July 7, 2021
Get the New-Phone Theory mug.A belief that a strange event or circumstance is caused by normal means and shouldnt be looked into any further even in the face of mounting evidence suggesting otherwise.
by b4zzo July 9, 2021
Get the Suspiracy Theory mug.The belief that what you learned in school is a sanitized fairy tale, and that real history is a hidden narrative of power struggles, secret elites, and suppressed truths. Professor Jiang’s “Secret History” lectures claim to strip away the official myths to reveal how power actually works—often through covert networks, ideological manipulation, and recurring cycles of corruption and collapse. It’s for people who think history class was a CIA plot and that the real story is always juicier, darker, and more consequential.
“Bro, Secret History Theory says the Roman Empire didn’t fall because of barbarians—it was a secret cult of billionaire patricians who engineered the crisis to reset the debt clock. That’s why we’re living in the Pax Americana version 2.0.”
by Abzugal January 24, 2026
Get the Secret History Theory mug.A method of forecasting the future by treating history like a repeating algorithm. Inspired by Isaac Asimov’s “psychohistory,” Jiang argues that large‑scale human behavior follows predictable patterns—like the rise and fall of empires, the outcomes of great‑power rivalries, and the timing of major wars. By identifying these “historical structures,” you can supposedly make scarily accurate prophecies about coming events. It’s geopolitics meets fortune‑telling, with a Yale degree.
“Predictive History Theory nailed the 2024 U.S. election and the Iran‑Israel conflict a year in advance. Next up? It says China will peak in 2035 and then face a ‘Soviet‑style’ unraveling. Check the charts, man.”
by Abzugal January 24, 2026
Get the Predictive History Theory mug.The idea that a new world order led by Jewish intellectual, financial, and political influence is emerging—a “Jewish peace” that will replace the fading Pax Americana. Jiang’s lecture on the topic draws on biblical prophecy, historical models of diaspora power, and game‑theory calculations to argue that Jewish elites (especially in the U.S. and Israel) are uniquely positioned to steer global affairs without direct empire‑building. It’s a controversial, often conspiracy‑tinged forecast of a post‑Western hegemony.
“Pax Judaica Theory claims that within 50 years, the real capital won’t be Washington or Beijing—it’ll be Tel Aviv and New York City. The ‘chosen people’ will finally be the choosers, and the rest of us will just pay the rent.”
by Abzugal January 24, 2026
Get the Pax Judaica Theory mug.The art of using historical analogies as a playbook for modern statecraft. Jiang’s “Geo‑Strategy” series treats today’s great‑power contests as reruns of past conflicts—comparing U.S.‑China tensions to Athens vs. Sparta, or Iran’s regional maneuvering to the Persian Empire’s old games. The theory holds that leaders who understand these templates can avoid classic traps and outmaneuver their rivals. It’s like Sun Tzu meets a history‑channel binge.
“Geo‑Strategy Theory warned that the U.S. getting bogged down in the Middle East was a repeat of the ‘Roman overstretch’ mistake. Next time, maybe we’ll listen to the professor instead of the generals.”
by Abzugal January 24, 2026
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