orphan crushing machine

A theoretical device referenced when someone performs an act of generosity of kindness that is only possible because a horrible system has been normalized. Usually seen in "feel good" stories in the news where a child sells a collection so they can afford cancer treatment or a military veteran receives a prosthesis because of a GoFundMe.

Local man saves 500 orphans from the orphan crushing machine!

That's great news! Wait... why is there a machine that crushes orphans?

by v022 December 5, 2025

Dirty machinations

Dirty machination

Dude was just chilling in the waiting room when the nurse walked in, the way her thick butt jiggled gave him dirty machinations about all the different ways he’d like to sneak her off to an empty exam room and fuck her senseless, maybe starting with her bent over the tray she kept having to move, ass up high as he slams in deep, or her legs wrapped around him on the table, screaming his name till they both collapse in a sweaty heap.”

by Turtleoower88 December 31, 2025

Sauce Machine

In most terms, usually gaming, a "Sauce Machine" is any effective tactic being used in a competitive or social game, whether it be a modified vehicle, weapon or character itself. The term "Sauce Machine" is synonymous to the phrase META (Most Effective Tactic Available). The term is popular with a YouTuber named "Ghilliemaster", who uses the phrase to describe a specific vehicle in the game Grand Theft Auto V.

Gamer 1: Dude! Why is that gun so good!? You just shredded me to pieces!
Gamer 2: I'm telling you, the SMG a complete and utter Sauce Machine.

Ex. 2
Gamer 1: Bro. In War Thunder, the Su-27 is an absolute Sauce Machine. It has a 30mm Cannon that shreds, a shit ton of missiles, and it turns on a dime! What else could you ask for!?

by SerialNonce42 April 29, 2024

Chocolate Claw Machine

The Chocolate Claw Machine is when after a long day and your feet are sweaty, and they smell like absolute shit, so you take a shit and get your stinky toes and grab your poop like a claw machine, then you take your stinky sweaty shit mangled foot and take a big old whiff.

Man that guy smells horrible
Did you hear? He Gave himself the nastiest Chocolate Claw Machine last night
...dont flush your toilet tommorrow

by anonymous May 18, 2024

Sisyphus' Time Machine

The act of going back in time to change an event but failing to change anything, so you go back in time again to try to change the event but fail again, causing you to go back in time again to try again, looping indefinitely.

Person 1: If you could go back in time to when you were five with all your current knowledge would you?
Person 2: Yeah, I could invest in Bitcoin early! I wouldn't have to work a day in my life!
Person 1: What if your parents didn't believe you? Then you would have to go back in time again.
Person 2: Ohh, you're right. Even if I did go back in time it wouldn't change what happens.
Person 1: It's Sisyphus' Time Machine.

by Rimzi May 27, 2024

Fax Machine

a highly attractive male, especially referring to those who 32k pvp on the minecraft server, 2b2t.

Person one: "ayo man i'd so hit that Fax Machine"
Person 2: "oh dayum nigga sheesh same fockin here mate"

by 32kay December 2, 2021

The Origami Machine

The origami machine is a machine that twists and or jelqs your penis into a variety of different origami shapes.

"Hey Paul, check out what I did with the Origami Machine!"
"Hey let me try out the Origami Machine too!!"

by origamiman February 18, 2024