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Touchin' Cotton

Touchin' Cotton is when one is using every muscle in their buttocks to hold in their poop--yet no matter how hard they try it keeps poking out of their butthole making contact with their boxers/white tighties/thong/granny panties etc. Touchin' Cotton is one of the causes of skid marks.

It's a highly uncomfortable feeling, which in turn causes abnormal behavior. When Touchin' Cotton people tend to speak faster in conversations, exceed speed limits by 15-30 MPH, sweat uncontrollably and fidget in their seats as a result of the forced tightening of their anus.

Nearly 100% of U.S. Americans will find themselves Touchin' Cotton during the course of their lives.

Touchin' Cotton usually occurs:
1) Around 1-3 hours after waking up
2) Before a stressful event
3) Right after a Mexican dinner
4) Right before bedtime

Generally, when one is TCin' it, they can make it to a restroom before disaster strikes. The excrement is painful, but not explosive. A Touchin Cotton poop is generally long, cylinder in shape, and brown. It takes an average number of wipes to clean up. Unlike explosive diarrhea, when one is TCin' it, they can control the poops exit for a good while; however, within an hour they MUST find a bathroom or skid marks will become the least of their worries.
"Hey dad, can you pull over at the next McDonalds, I've been Touchin' Cotton for the past 30 minutes."

"OMG Bekah, I need to leave class. I'm totally TCin' right now."

POLICE OFFICE: Sir, can you tell me why you were going 45 MPH in a 25 MPH residential neighborhood?
DRIVER: Sweating, Frantic Officer, I've been in traffic for the past 2 hours and I HAVE to get home and use the restroom. For God sakes, I've been Touchin' Cotton for the past hour.
by Tim L. Allen February 17, 2008
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Touch-gasm

To touch something when high that has the effect of a feeling comparible to an orgasm. usually with, but not limited to, cannabis and ecstacy
Stoner1: dude man, this stuffs the shit!

Stoner2: dude man, i know! im so high i just had a touch-gasm trying to get my phone from my pocket!
by TheBFG January 28, 2009
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touch of the burgers

Touch of the Burgers is a phrase used to describe someone who is in some way socially off. Could be subtle, could be blatant but one thing is for sure, the person in question is a social mongoloid. Touch of the Burgers is in reference to Asperger's syndrome and should not be confused with touch of the downs.
Tomtron: "Tyler is really overprotective of his red rubber ball. He bit me when I tried to pick it up!"
Antron Prime: "Seems to me like that boy's got a touch of the burgers."
by Dr. Steve Cleamer January 15, 2015
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touching the void

I touch the void every hour, on the hour.
Touching the void, what to do when there's nothing to do.
by bazorgazorg November 18, 2005
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touch of death

Conor McGregor's left Hand
"The question is, can Conor land, what the great Firas Zahabi likes to call, the "touch of death" on the chin of Eddie Alvarez"
by MartyFakeSnoozeman February 20, 2020
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touch the sky

The cutoff point for smoking or consuming marijuana to avoid getting too high.
"You want another hit?"

"Nah, I'm about to touch the sky."
by penisshakes April 23, 2021
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plane-touched

One with celesial blood line. Not touched by the world's planes.
Some say that Greek scientists such as Plato were plane touched because of there genius.
by Chris R. August 1, 2003
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