Jared

To create something large in size for consumption. To upsize or upgrade something typically small or bite-size into something larger than usual.

Name derived from Subway's spokesman Jared Fogel.

"I'm totally going to jared this s'more", said Alan has he built a 4 marshmallow, 2 graham cracker, and 1 full chocolate bar s'more around the campfire.

You want to jared these Bagel Bites into a 4-story pizza tower?

by RobinAmerica July 7, 2009

Jared

The flap of skin that connects your balls to your penis. Not to be mistaken for a gooch, which is the skin between your balls and your asshole.

"Ahh, that feels so good, Don't forget the Jared Baby."

by The Jared December 26, 2008

Jared

(n.) A generally creepy stalker like person that emits a totally freakish vibe and makes you wanna run away. On knows when they are a jared when they have a creepy rapist voice, randomly show up behind people, or freak out unknowing teenage girls.

'Omg don't stand behind me like that, you jared.'

by Hair-product lover June 2, 2009

Jared

One who has more homosexuality then he knows what to do with; The king of flamers.

Fuck my ass and call me jared.

by jed kenney April 9, 2008

Jared

A person who has a fond liking to cats, sometimes extreme liking. Also to the point of having sex with cats.

ME: I heard a kid had sex with a cat! He is such a Jared.

by spankyanky ham April 24, 2008

jared

A guy who is usually extremly ugly sucks major dick at soccer and eats butthole for breakfast.

Dude why is that kid being such a jared i dont know look at the white stuff on his face.

by Stuhna September 28, 2010

Jared

A piece of shit idiot who likes to cheat on his girlfriend. Does not know how to spell and loves to lick his nose and eat his boogers.

Omg man you better not cheat on that gem , please don’t be a Jared

by SophKail February 19, 2019