A condition that certain clients will have, causing them to occasionally disregard their manners when contacting a sex worker in an attempt to schedule a booking. Individuals having a dick emergency will often not pay proper attention to screening instructions, will attempt to schedule same-day even if policies state that's not offered, and will sometimes even lose grasp of basic grammar.
ring ring
sex worker: "Hello?"
client: "What are your rates?!?"
sex worker: "WOW. OK, let's start with your name first?"
client: "I'm Chad... can you accept me for a booking this afternoon?!?"
sex worker: "OK, I can see that someone is having a dick emergency today... but let's not totally forget our manners, shall we?"
client: "Sorry, yes. So may I please inquire as to your rates?"
sex worker: "They're pretty clearly stated on my web site."
client: "Where is that?"
sex worker: "You managed to find my contact info online... I'm confident that you can find this information, as well. Along with my screening process. Thank you."
click
sex worker: "Hello?"
client: "What are your rates?!?"
sex worker: "WOW. OK, let's start with your name first?"
client: "I'm Chad... can you accept me for a booking this afternoon?!?"
sex worker: "OK, I can see that someone is having a dick emergency today... but let's not totally forget our manners, shall we?"
client: "Sorry, yes. So may I please inquire as to your rates?"
sex worker: "They're pretty clearly stated on my web site."
client: "Where is that?"
sex worker: "You managed to find my contact info online... I'm confident that you can find this information, as well. Along with my screening process. Thank you."
click
by demergency July 8, 2019
Get the dick emergencymug. A guy/girl who you like but you already have a crush. So it's basically a backup if your crush rejects/leaves/hates you.
Guy A.: I like her, she's cute but I already have a crush.
Guy B.: So she's your emergency crush bro.
Guy B.: So she's your emergency crush bro.
by Ringo16 July 15, 2016
Get the emergency crushmug. It's like an emergency shit, but it happens while your shopping. You'll usually have a cart full of items and the bathrooms are "conveniently" located on the other side of the registers so you have to leave your cart out in the open, hoping no employees take your cart and put your items back.
"I had to take an emergency shitstop at Menards. Parked my cart, "dropped the kids off at the pool", came back and my caRT WAS GONE!!!"
by Northern Hammer July 1, 2023
Get the emergency shitstopmug. by Verboser284 April 20, 2020
Get the Emergency Suicidemug. Flask of hard liquor kept in Desk drawer at work to take the edge off for when the shit has hit the fan.
My boss had a heart attack and I have to take over all his work, and you're telling me the 66 page payment requisition that was just submitted is wrong and has to be completely redone today by 5pm???
'Yes and its 2:47'
Fuck...wheres the emergency flask...
'Yes and its 2:47'
Fuck...wheres the emergency flask...
by yougottabekidding February 21, 2011
Get the Emergency Flaskmug. Something you save for an emergency, like stashing chocolate in your desk for a major craving or keeping an umbrella in your car in case it rains.
I remember going on date during a hike and pulling out a thin tubular flashlight when my date asked me what it was for I mentioned it was my emergency cock.
by C12H22O11 June 22, 2022
Get the Emergency cockmug. by BootyWarrior99 March 13, 2020
Get the National Emergencymug.