When two men (typically Mormon) lock eyes and proceed to simultaneously give each other hand-jobs in a contest to see who can withstand orgasming the longest. The first man to ejaculate has "lost" the Utah standoff and is, by virtue, a homosexual.
This widely practiced method of settling disputes originated among Adam Smith's early followers as a non-lethal alternative to dueling. Recently, it has been employed as a litmus test to determine where a man falls in the spectrum of sexuality, as a heterosexual male would obviously not allow another man to force him to climax.
These affairs are rarely witnessed as they occur behind closed doors due to the socially questionable nature of the practice, but are truly a spectacle to behold. There is typically an exorbitant amount of grunting, grimacing, sweating, trying not to make out with each other, and occasionally crying, ending with an outburst from the losing contestant that consists of equal parts orgasmic pleasure and shame.
It is rumored that Joseph Smith hurriedly invented the Utah Standoff to explain what was happening when someone walked in on him passionately and intensely jerking off one of his followers, but again, these are only rumors.
This widely practiced method of settling disputes originated among Adam Smith's early followers as a non-lethal alternative to dueling. Recently, it has been employed as a litmus test to determine where a man falls in the spectrum of sexuality, as a heterosexual male would obviously not allow another man to force him to climax.
These affairs are rarely witnessed as they occur behind closed doors due to the socially questionable nature of the practice, but are truly a spectacle to behold. There is typically an exorbitant amount of grunting, grimacing, sweating, trying not to make out with each other, and occasionally crying, ending with an outburst from the losing contestant that consists of equal parts orgasmic pleasure and shame.
It is rumored that Joseph Smith hurriedly invented the Utah Standoff to explain what was happening when someone walked in on him passionately and intensely jerking off one of his followers, but again, these are only rumors.
Ezekial: That is verily my sheep, for I recognize it as the most beautiful in the flock. Return it to me at once, Jedidiah, or I shall invoke the Utah Standoff.
Jedidiah: Bring it on.
(Utah Standoff proceeds, Ezekial is defeated)
Jedidiah: Victory and the sheep are mine to enjoy!
Ezekial: I love you.
Jedidiah: I love you too.
Me: That's pretty gay.
Jedidiah: Bring it on.
(Utah Standoff proceeds, Ezekial is defeated)
Jedidiah: Victory and the sheep are mine to enjoy!
Ezekial: I love you.
Jedidiah: I love you too.
Me: That's pretty gay.
by Rake7613 January 30, 2010
Get the Utah Standoff mug.Common surname of Spanish origin. Typically belonging to the somewhat rebellious, extremely tough, and most badass vatos and locas to ever live. This is the 233rd most common name among Latinos in the US. Don’t let a Sandoval hear you pronouncing their name Sand-Oval. You may catch the cuete. Put a little spice on it a let it roll off your tongue as
“S aa n-d oh- V AA L.”
Approach anyone with the surname Sandoval with caution. They come equipt with attitude and a natural propensity for resting bitch face. Despite their exterior the Sandoval’s are a fun loving, comical and proud people.
“S aa n-d oh- V AA L.”
Approach anyone with the surname Sandoval with caution. They come equipt with attitude and a natural propensity for resting bitch face. Despite their exterior the Sandoval’s are a fun loving, comical and proud people.
by Hijadetumadre July 22, 2020
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Standos
• standoff
• standoff 2
• STANDOVER MAN
• Stando Powah
• standom
• Standon
• Standof
• Standormian
• Standoutable
When two or more people are so courteous to one another, it becomes painful.
Particularly common with food at restaurants, or when opening doors for others.
Particularly common with food at restaurants, or when opening doors for others.
"Parky, would you like this last dumpling?"
"No, please. You have it."
"Parky, I insist. Please eat it."
"I couldn't possibly take that last dumpling. Please, it's yours..."
Ad nauseam.
WAITER: "Welp! It looks like we've got ourselves a Mexican Stand-Down!"
"No, please. You have it."
"Parky, I insist. Please eat it."
"I couldn't possibly take that last dumpling. Please, it's yours..."
Ad nauseam.
WAITER: "Welp! It looks like we've got ourselves a Mexican Stand-Down!"
by Woofington Von Barkshire October 17, 2017
Get the Mexican Stand-Down mug.Shruti Standard Time (SST)
1. When you arrive 30 minutes after the promised appointment time and keep everybody else waiting.
2. When you say "ok let's go" when everybody is actually waiting for you.
1. When you arrive 30 minutes after the promised appointment time and keep everybody else waiting.
2. When you say "ok let's go" when everybody is actually waiting for you.
Anoka: It's 6 o'clock, where is everybody?
Albert: LOL don't you know? It's Shruti Standard Time! You're supposed to come at 6:30!
Albert: LOL don't you know? It's Shruti Standard Time! You're supposed to come at 6:30!
by nirvana1221 November 17, 2019
Get the Shruti Standard Time mug.by Eight4Fly July 23, 2019
Get the The frank stand is open mug.and he said to the man running the stand, Hey bom bom bom bom, you're approaching me? the man said "i can't beat the shit out of you without getting closer" then he said HOHO then come as close as you like
Me singing: A duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, Hey bom bom bom bom, you're approaching me? the man said "i can't beat the shit out of you without getting closer" then he said HOHO then come as close as you like
Friend: is that a jojo reference?
Me: fuck yeah, it's great
Friend: is that a jojo reference?
Me: fuck yeah, it's great
by A real n-word October 23, 2019
Get the A duck walked up to the lemonade stand mug.what often happens when two people are partaking in an instant messaging conversation. one person begins to type but then sees the icon that represents the other person is typing. this causes them to stop in an attempt to let the other person enter what they were typing. however, the other person notices that the first person was typing and also stops typing. thus, both people stop typing because they anticipate the other person will say something. chat standoff can often lead to extended moments of virtual silence and awkwardness that neither party enjoys.
guy 1: so i talked to tiffany on aim last night.
guy 2: how'd that go?
guy 1: terrible. we got caught in chat standoff and didn't say anything for half an hour.
guy 2: how'd that go?
guy 1: terrible. we got caught in chat standoff and didn't say anything for half an hour.
by ilikedykes January 22, 2009
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