masturbate

I once heard the late George Carlin at a live performance reel off hundreds of witty slang synonyms for masturbation, but his final entry, and the punchline for his entire performance, was,

"Crowning the King."

I thought it was the funniest.

Queen Elizabeth II: Prince Andrew! Prince Andrew! How much longer are you going to be in there?

Prince Andrew: Just a little while longer, Grand Mum.

Queen Elizabeth II: Prince Andrew! You are not endevouring to masturbate in there, are you?

Prince Andrew: Of course not, Grand Mum--I'm Crowning the King!

by Dr. Whosis December 20, 2009

Mental Masterbation

Pondering philosophical questions, which may be enjoyable, yet are so removed from reality, or experience that they have no practical use.

Someone that thinks of far out 'what if' questions

Note- Not all philosophy is mental masterbation.

"Today we spent three hours mentally masterbating to Kant's critique of pure reason"

"I got a degree in mental masterbation!" someone graduating with a degree in rhetoric, philosophy, anthropolgy, multicultural studies, etc

by Marcus L January 1, 2008

Masturbate

Guys- To rapidly yank your crank.
Chicks- To use variouse toys and satisfy yourself, or an electric toothbrush.

It is quite understandable.

by Maddie April 17, 2005

masterba!ter

A guy who baits his team-mates in counter-strike and counter-strike source, also any other fucking fps game.

Ha! I'm a smart masterba!ter, im not gonna run in there and die like the fuckers on my team that i baited.

by aldin September 27, 2007

masturbate

To jack one's beanstalk.
Or, to choke one's chicken.

I enjoy choking my chicken.

by Ass Clown November 3, 2002

Masterbation Station

An area - usually your room - where you go to watch porn or just to beat your meat over someone

Rob spends all his time in his masterbation station watchin' animal porn

by Sir Marc Wilcox February 16, 2009

Masterbathe

The act of masturbating in the shower or bath.

"Dude i was in a dry spell for a while and had blue-balls, so i took a shower and masterbathed"

by memofukka June 5, 2010