by da jesus

A Newfoundland saying, often said when one is becoming stressed out or annoyed.

"By da jesus! Dat car almost rear ended me!"

by Marzocchi66 December 3, 2007

You need to talk to Jesus

You full of shit; you can tell that dung pudding story to someone else!

You need to talk to Jesus! He might forgive you, but I don't!

by talk2me-JCH2 October 9, 2023

Cancer Jesus

A meme coined from the (slightly disturbing) music video of "I Feel Better" by Hot Chip referring to the British comedian Ross Lee in the video. He's called Cancer Jesus (or in some instances "White Ghandi," and the like) mainly because he appears awkwardly in a shiny white hospital gown and is completely bald and "shoops da woop" on the fictitious members of the boy band in the video. Needless to say the video may be funny to some people and for the most part just leave the viewer awestruck at what they watched.

Friend A: Dude, did you watch that Hot Chip vid I sent you??
Friend B: Ya, it was sooo f#@$ed up man, wtf was with Cancer Jesus, LOL?

by NaPz September 16, 2010

Cyborg Pirate Ninja Jesus

Cyborg Pirate Ninja Jesus!
Cyborg Pirate Ninja Jesus!

To go kicking evil's ass whenever there's a scare.
He’s got a mean lean katana and some cool facial hair.
And Whenever there is trouble he's gonna be right there!
He’s Cyborg Pirate Ninja Jesus
Cyborg Pirate Ninja Jesus!

Now who’s the Samurai robot who always wins?
The Swashbuckling Savior who’ll absolve your sins?
Who Traveled back in time and chopped off Hitlers head?
Who won the civil war and came back from the dead?
He’s Cyborg Pirate Ninja Jesus!
Cyborg Pirate Ninja Jesus!

In three days time he'll rise again.
When it comes to acting stealthy he scores a ten!
Instead of Chinese stars he throws unlevened bread!
Then he drinks a pint of spirits straight to his head.
He’s Cyborg Pirate Ninja Jesus!
Cyborg Pirate Ninja Jesus!

Who diced up Pol Pot like Teriaki Steak?
Who gave the great Ghangis Kahn all that he could take?
Who used his massive cyborg arm to crush the Axis dead?
Who pumped the Germans in the Rhine full of Pirate lead?
Who kung fu kicks anyone who sells mind altering drugs?
Who'll infect a robber with scurvy for everyone he mugs?
He’s Cyborg Pirate Ninja Jesus!
Cyborg Pirate Ninja Jesus!

Cyborg Pirate Ninja Jesus!
Cyborg Pirate Ninja Jesus!
Cyborg Pirate Ninja Jesus!

Cyborg Pirate Ninja Jesus is better than all other Jesuses.

by GrogMcGee January 20, 2009

jesus mugshot

who, me? the official copshop cameo of an obviously guilty party who asserts a cheesy, phony christianity by comparing his situation to that of jesus when in actuality he's just a crook

when tom delay was arrested, he compared himself to jesus as his mugshot was taken. what a hairsprayed, exterminator, douchebag jesus mugshot.

by lexicali slim September 23, 2009

Jesus Smuggling

When a person of secular reason has finished explaining something, to the extent of their knowledge, and the person they are explaining to says, Jesus is the reason beyond that explanation.

Friend: Did you enjoy talking with David about the origin of species.
Guy: Ya but he kept Jesus Smuggling when I got to the primordial soup.

by Botched Toe September 16, 2018

redneck jesus

Dale Earnhardt Jr. NASCAR driver/Southern U.S. spiritual figure

In talladegastan (also known as the southern holy land) there lies a redneck jesus. One who can make the masses consume their mass quantities of bud light and bask in his victory, and pledge their allegiance to him and the heavenly father Dale Earnhardt Sr. For it is told this is the true path to the land of Daytona, a heaven-like place with more left turns.

by 420blazeitfagit July 4, 2014