Holy Fucking Jesus

An expression used when something cool or mind blasting happens or is seen.

Holy Fucking Jesus!, that woman isn't a woman...it's a whale!

by f00dnetw0rk June 21, 2010

Oh My Jesus

To get over excited over something.

Will: Dude I just got laid
John: OH MY JESUS

by TurtleLovingZombie August 28, 2010

jesusfuckingchrist

A statement of utter disbelief expressed when one finds themselves in the worst case scenario. Can be announced slowly and clearly to express disgust and hopelessness, or loud and fast to alert someone of an imminent disaster that will most likely end in catastrophe.

When Ted realized the car was running out of gas, he pulled to the side of the road and got out of the car. He muttered "JesusFuckingChrist" when he saw that he just drove over nails and now had two flat tires.

Just before the fireball, Ted screamed "JESUSFUCKINGCHRIST!" as he saw Fred trying to light a cigarette while pumping gas.

by rockythecat December 5, 2009

Jesus Beam

Toki's Hokuto Ujou Hagan Ken (North Star Humanist Face Breaking First) from Hokuto no Ken (First of the North Star). A Fatal KO in the fighting game.

Jesus Beam how to:

o_|<

>|_o_|

(||= __o__ =||)

"At least you can die without pain..."

by Master Bigode April 29, 2010

jesus condom

Having unprotected sex with your girlfriend or wife and praying to Jesus that you didn't get her pregnant.

What!? You can't be pregnant again, I was wearing a Jesus Condom.

by JMU April 26, 2007

could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot that even he couldn't eat it?

a paradox made up by stoners with nothing better to do

stoned guy 1)could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot that even he couldn't eat it?
stoned guy 2)WHOOOOAAAAAA!!! i don't know.... what a thinker!!!
stoned guy 1)tell me about it

by EatMyFukk May 13, 2008

purple jesus rodeo

An alcoholic drink comprising of 1/2 everclear, 1/2 grape NOS energy drink and purple (grape) cool aid mix, plus 2 caffeine tablets all put into one standard red plastic cup.

the name comes from the following:

Purple: because the drink is purple in color
Jesus: because you will get so drunk you may see jesus
Rodeo: because you'll be so hopped up on energy drink and caffeine tablets that you may be prone to jumping on your friends and riding them around like you're in a rodeo

GUY #1 oh man what happened last night?
GUY #2 dude you drank one Purple Jesus Rodeo and starting running around the party jumping on people!
GUY #3 Yeah then you passed out and we had to take you to the hospital.
GUY #1 NICE!

by Jeff "Danger" Hoernemann November 29, 2010