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healing crystal bitch

A healing crystal bitch is that annoying female that we all know who wants to be a hippie and takes it to a different level of extreme. Typically they will claim to be from some other dimension, consider themselves "spiritual", talk about their "3rd eye", throw around tarot cards without warning, and you guessed it, carry around healing crystals. They consider consuming marijuana and psychedelics some kind of spiritual journey and believe that their hallucinations are sacred. A healing crystal bitch will also turn into Jeffery Dahmer if her cat dislikes you.
Friend 1: Dude look at this girl on my tinder stack. Should I swipe right?

Friend 2: Hell no dude! Look at her profile, she seems like one of those healing crystal bitches.

Friend 1: Damn you right homie.
by Michael|leahciM October 6, 2021
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Crystal Spring Turtle

Giving somebody a crystal spring turtle is a sexual act. It involves one parter "prairie dogging" a piece of feces in and out of their rectum, while the other either urinates or ejaculates on the half protruding feces. The partner then pulls the feces back in, like a turtle retreating into its shell.
Guy #1: Hey bro i heard you gave Sally a crystal spring turtle last night

Guy#2: Hell yea man! I crystal spring'd all over that turtle!! Jealous??

Guy#1: Uuuhh...not really
by Badassboyscout May 13, 2009
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Crystal River Credit Card

Anything used to break into a home, vehicle, or business. ussualy a pair of bolt cutters, a slim jim, brick, or screwdriver.
The bike I wanted was chained to a post, good thing I brought my Crystal River Credit Card because now the bike is mine.
by blacksheeep September 2, 2010
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Crystal Star

The Crystal Star is a sex move involving two ice cubes (crystals) and a females (or a potentially thick male) ass. The trick is to put one ice cube in the asshole, and another on top of the ass itself and to fire your load on the top ice cube and let it drip down to the other. The second, newly cum soaked ice cube is then pounded further into the asshole, to melt.
Person 1: I feel like getting freaky tonight babe, do you want to do the "Crystal Star"?
Person 2: Abso-fucking-lutely
by Gamberrowen May 31, 2018
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flava crystals

The white crust of dried spit that gathers in the corners of ones mouth, a la Flava Flav.
Did you watch flavor of love last week? He had the flava crystals kickin!
by Chris Jke March 24, 2008
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crystalpunk

A subculture/fashion/art/musical movement that originated from NYC in 2014. It is aesthetically centered on natural crystal and precious mineral formations. It is an outgrowth from movements such as Health Goth, New Age, Vaporwave, and Seapunk.
We knew she was a crystalpunk because she was wearing all white athletic clothes and a quartz pendant and talking about doing yoga in Bushwick.
by treeverb August 25, 2014
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JO crystal

JO crytals are crystals, that you can "charge" by jacking off (aka masturbating) close/next to another JO crystal user. It's a way to show love appreciation or love to the other user. Mostly used by best friends. Nobody knows exactly what "charging" means, but from what I heard and read about this topic, it refers to "getting to know each other better".
Person 1: "Yo, wanna jack off together?"
Person 2:"Hold up mate, let's get our JO crystals first, after we charged it up, we'll know each other better"
by Fishy-sensei March 30, 2022
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