A Small Town with its main points being its tent mall and its nuclear power plant. Great places to waste time are the OP Parking Lot or Ft. Island Beach, be warned the beach may be radioactive. There is Nothing to do in this region and days may consist walking from the HS to the Mall and/or Going to the Mud Hole. Admiring the woods while holding Aluminium Cans is also enjoyable.
by The Jacketman June 8, 2006
Crystal River, a small town in West Central Florida is most known for their speed bumbs.. aka "manatees", the only thing fun to do there is boating.. but theres only one route. You can go to shell island, the shallows.. then do it all over again! They have a big top tent for a mall. A bunch of rednecks live there, they love to fish and mud. We have an awesome rails to trails..but you have to stop every 5 feet at the stop signs or you'll get ran over by a car. The only place to shop here is bealls, jc penny, or belk. They have underwater caves, but plently of people have died.. swim at your own risk. Home of the KKK. Crystal River is the Queen of Citrus County. CRHS rules Citrus and Lecanto in everything.. Hey we are the ones with the mall ;) Oh and this just in, Ft. Island Gulf Beach is now OK to swim in! ;)
by BuckNastii_aeb815 May 21, 2011
A very nice looking school but has lots of sluts and fuck boys roaming around without protection located in a meth infested neighborhood. And all the teachers smoke before class.Also all the country kids fuck there relatives.
by Big daddy dicc December 1, 2018
Anything used to break into a home, vehicle, or business. ussualy a pair of bolt cutters, a slim jim, brick, or screwdriver.
The bike I wanted was chained to a post, good thing I brought my Crystal River Credit Card because now the bike is mine.
by blacksheeep September 2, 2010
Crystal river middle school is full of redneck who try to act black and a place full of racist teacher and fat men and sex offenders and a lot of judgy people
MOM:Hey wanna go to Crystal River Middle School?
ME:No because the school is infested with wanna be’s
ME:No because the school is infested with wanna be’s
by Teaspilleralery263673 September 21, 2019
A horrible school in Crystal River, FL.
Notable Groups and individuals:
•Rednecks: They can't read or write. They love to kill animals. Most of them are backwards and hate gay people.
•Emos: Everyone treats them like sh*t. Most have depression but can't get treatment, bullying makes it worse.
•Jocks: Many "Jocks" are "Rednecks", but not all. All jocks love to bully gay people.
• Popular Kids: Half rich kids/Half drug addicts.
•Tommy Sparks: A stinky-republican who dresses in khakis, works to ruin the lives of poor people( he wants to starve us by taking away food stamps/ he wants to put homeless peoplein jail), wants to ban Tik Tok, and spends his time with old politicians( trying to cut taxes on the rich/ ban Tik tok) and his boyfriend Kaige.
•Teacher Epstein: I think he is racist against black kids. He loves to yell at kids who just want to have fun.
•Mrs. Stringer: Loves to put all kids into detention, no matter the color of there skin.
• Mr. Roland: Loves to say " go to student services".
Notable Groups and individuals:
•Rednecks: They can't read or write. They love to kill animals. Most of them are backwards and hate gay people.
•Emos: Everyone treats them like sh*t. Most have depression but can't get treatment, bullying makes it worse.
•Jocks: Many "Jocks" are "Rednecks", but not all. All jocks love to bully gay people.
• Popular Kids: Half rich kids/Half drug addicts.
•Tommy Sparks: A stinky-republican who dresses in khakis, works to ruin the lives of poor people( he wants to starve us by taking away food stamps/ he wants to put homeless peoplein jail), wants to ban Tik Tok, and spends his time with old politicians( trying to cut taxes on the rich/ ban Tik tok) and his boyfriend Kaige.
•Teacher Epstein: I think he is racist against black kids. He loves to yell at kids who just want to have fun.
•Mrs. Stringer: Loves to put all kids into detention, no matter the color of there skin.
• Mr. Roland: Loves to say " go to student services".
I hate you!!! Go to Crystal River middle school!!!
by IloveCats!!! April 23, 2023
by Daquavious John Tavious September 5, 2022