Claim a Johnny Bench

When something that was once at the forefront of popular culture or national consciousness has become generationally extinct.

Tammy: "Do you remember that Valley Girl song?"
Nate: "I'm going to have to claim a Johnny Bench on that one."

by Dean Houser December 9, 2008

Benchaldo

A fraud player who is so mid that he can only sit on the bench and be of more use. The greatest cheerleader in Portuguese history who is carried everywhere by better players and steals credit especially goals. Currently eating sand in Arabia.

He is absolutely finished and has been gifted every award by Papa Perez

I have been Benchaldo'ed in life

by Father of Penaldo February 18, 2023

Stench Bench

A place for a female to sit that comprises a man's lap and, specifically, his erect manhood. Use of this phrase usually implies that more than just sitting (namely, boning) is underway.

Alex's sister is hot! I may have to let her sit on the Stench Bench.

by Nicholas A. B. June 30, 2008

Bench Fat

When chefs get a bit lonely they stand VERY close to the bench and rub up on it and get a hard-on.

My bench fat has been discovered.

by ACT Chef May 24, 2010

Cock Bench

A bench usially located in a local park where gay guys hang around waiting for some cock, hence the name "cock bench".

Rules of the cock bench are as follows...

1) After you've found a guy to have relations with don't return to the bench for another 24 hours. Don'r be greedy!

2) You must be under the age of 50 and under 15 stone.

3) No track suits!

Andy: I'm dying for some bum fun

Dave: Why don't you go to the cock bench then?

Andy: Yeah! Great idea, I'd better remember to take some lube this time.

by Jake West Jones March 22, 2008

Playing the bench

When a man is wanting to date/have sex with a woman and that woman keeps him around, even teasing him, but never indulges him. The man is known as a 'bench player.'

The term refers to the likeness of an athlete sitting on the bench, waiting to get in on the game.

John "You hear about Mike? He's got a hard on for Erin."
Chris "Yeah man, she flirts with him but won't date the guy."
John "He's totally playing the bench on that one."

by Stardog Champion January 14, 2011

benchy

A word only used by charlatan professors and their adopted chimpanzee apprentices. As slang, the word is mis-used commonly to describe benches, as said apprentices (although, more particularly Luke Triton) have no imagination at all.

"Yep, that's a bench. Sure is... benchy."- Luke Triton

"LUKE TRITON! YOU BENCHY LITTLE TWAT."- Don Paolo

by Don Paolo December 10, 2011