Softcore pornography either in video or image form that does not show penetration, and usually has very brief shots of both the male penis or female vagina. There are also no cumshots for either partner shown on camera. You may often find these types of videos on Cinnemax or HBO2 late at night.
Since my scrambling box doesn't work for the Spice Channel, I have to settle for Cinnemax and Almost Porn
by ACG2x January 6, 2004
Get the Almost Porn mug.During dirty anal intercourse, the male pulls out his penis, fecal chunks and all, and proceeds to slap his partner across his or her face with his fecal covered penis, giving the appearance of hastly eating a toasted almond crunch ice cream bar.
John: "That dude over there eats like an animal. Look at the crap on his face."
Peter: "Either that, or someone gave him a Toasted Almond Crunch."
John: "Eww... nasty."
Peter: "Either that, or someone gave him a Toasted Almond Crunch."
John: "Eww... nasty."
by Carmo September 27, 2006
Get the toasted almond crunch mug.Related Words
Almond Joy
• almost
• Almond
• ALMO
• almond milk
• Almor
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• almostfamous
• Almond Cookie
by Matias Rocafort January 2, 2008
Get the almondroca mug.To describe something that you thought was pretty damn sweet, but with a little voice at the back of your mind going "well that ain't decent", much like how an almond nut is pretty sweet but it's also a bit bitter at the back of your mouth.
Mark: "Damn, did Karl just jump into his neighbour's pool munted?"
Josh: "Yeah he did! Haha pretty fucking almond!"
Josh: "Yeah he did! Haha pretty fucking almond!"
by lowkeyjd May 27, 2015
Get the Almond mug.A sexual move perfected by Tibetan Monks at the turn of the century. The almond is indicative of there brown robes and the sloppiness is simply how they roll.
The move is performed by bending you partner’s right leg behind their ear. Then simply insert your nuts in to their mouth while kicking them in the baby maker.
You know you have perfected the move when your nuts remain in tact at the end of the "experience."
The move is performed by bending you partner’s right leg behind their ear. Then simply insert your nuts in to their mouth while kicking them in the baby maker.
You know you have perfected the move when your nuts remain in tact at the end of the "experience."
That chick was so drunk last night she was begging for the Sloppy Almond. Instead I slipped her the Filthy Cashew.
by Mc Lovin' November 1, 2007
Get the Sloppy Almond mug.by Joni Simpson November 12, 2003
Get the Almond Joy mug.The state of being being bitter, yet sweet. Usually applied to angry black homosexual males. The word is taken from the DMV episode of Martin.
by Michelle Javier February 26, 2008
Get the almondy mug.