Absolute straight

This refers to one who's sexuality has reached a level beyond all others. Those who reside in this coalition of superior members of society only congregate sexually with other superior members of society who are equally Absolute Straight. Partnering with those below Absolute Straight strips one’s title as Absolutely Straight.
- anything below par of Absolute, is super straight.

Random bitch: 'Hey, I really like you, wanna go out sometime?' Chad: 'I would like to express no apologies to an inferior being such as yourself. Get the fuck out of my sight fucking scum. I am an Absolute Straight. I do not find myself attracted to anyone remaining on the spectrum of sexuality, but only those like me who have surpassed it. In other words, I only fuck with Absolute Bitches, random bitch '

by Inspector Quool March 17, 2021

Ideological Absolutism

A quality of human behavior which causes us to take absolute stances on ideas and then to define ourselves based on these stances. A major cause for division and conflict amongst humanity.

If it weren't for ideological absolutism we would have so much unity amongst humanity.

by AdarNation January 18, 2017

moral absolutism

The opposite of moral relativism, moral absolutism refers to belief in absolute moral grounded in God. Note that moral absolutism is both absolute and not absolute. As the magisterium of the Catholic church discerns more of God's truth and we understand His will better, they adapt their absolute definition of morals to reflect the newfound truth. However, this truth has been there all along and we were just doing it the wrong way previously, so it is the absolute truth (I think, but I'm not sure. Too much Catholic politics).

The Catholic church claims to have always followed a principle of moral absolutism. In the middle ages, it was discerned that indulgences were OKAY. After Martin Luther did the East–West Schism, the Catholic church found itself with less power and affluence due to its reduced size, so it went back to the Bible and reinterpreted it to mean that indulgences are NOT OKAY.

by Bad C dev March 4, 2021

New Year's Absolution

Easily described as the feelings of relief and consolation that you feel when you find out that all your friends gave up their New Year's Resolution(s) too.

Person 1: 'Aren't you supposed to be at the gym?'

Person 2: 'Hey well Frank went out to the bar yesterday!'

Person 1: 'Oh, thank god, it's New Year's Absolution.'

Person 1: Sighs and light's a cigarette.

by Bustedcoolguy December 30, 2009

Luigi wins by doing absolutely nothing

A meme started years ago from Mario Party gameplays where the player would choose Luigi for certain minigames and stay afk. In most cases, the chosen minigames are luck based or an '1-vs-3' minigame where Luigi's team wins.

Said meme became quite popular with the time, and now there are like thousands of those 'Luigi wins by doing absolutely nothing' videos on YouTube. Most are quite amusing to watch, I suggest giving them a try.

Mario: A B A A L R A A R R L B B A L A B-
Mario loses. Mamma mia!

Luigi:

...

Aaaaand Luigi wins by doing absolutely nothing.

by Insert original username June 15, 2020

Free Speech Absolutist

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! AHA! He said this! He said he was that! He banned people immediately! For doing the thing that he is an absolutist about! HA! That’s hilarious! That’s a hilarious thing to do! That’s sounds like something I would do! And I’m evil! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You hear the Prophet Lord Dr. Professor Jordan Beatrice Peterson (leave be upon him) say that he wants to collude with the government officials he knows personally to create an online facsimile of hell for people who do don’t keep their speech within the confines of his conceptualization of “acceptable discourse”!? I guess the red skull guy was right about him being the type of guy who would collude with the government to silence dissidents, huh? That is wild! That is wild my guy! Look at these sorry sacks of shit!

Elon Musk “I’m a free speech absolutist!”

Elon Musk “And I’m Elon Musk! I gave my child a retarded name because I’m a solipsistic who things I’m living in a simulation created explicitly for me! Nothing I do matters because nothing is real (except me)! I like to fuck people’s wives on a bed of my fathers emeralds! Like that scene from the Pierce Brosnen (Bronson? Bronsen?) James Bond movie where he does that... except with emeralds instead of diamonds!”

Elon Musk “Shit, hey, I’m Elon Musk too! Look at me!”

Elon Musk “Parody” “Hey, I’m following the rules! Oh? I’m banned anyways? Aw, that’s no fun. The freeze peach isn’t very absolute here.”

by Hym Iam November 9, 2022

the absolute cheese

Used to express how good something is, how dumb someone is, how awesome a thing is ... etc ... it's great to describe almost anything actually!

1. No school today? That is the absolute cheese! - Lisa
2. OMG Bush, you are an absolute cheese - Dave
3. That has *got to be* the absolute cheese! - Pip

by Lii September 5, 2005