We Believe You, Captain America 

A deadpan, snarky response to an unbelievable series of events that is related to you by a friend or co-worker. Taken from the classic Lee/Kirby issue of THE AVENGERS where Captain America is found in the Arctic, having been frozen in a block of ice since the end of World War II.

After he is thawed out, Cap relates the following tale: "By some fantastic stroke of fate, I must have been frozen in an ice flow, and then found by some eskimos who thought I was a supernatural object. Then, all those years, being in a state of frozen suspended animation must've prevented me from aging."

The rational response to all that malarky? "We believe you, Captain America."

Frantic Guy: I'm sorry I'm late! I was riding my bike here & nearly got hit by a plane making an emergency landing! I freaked out & slammed into a fire hydrant, flying over the handlebars and right into the arms a visiting Sumo Wrestler!

You: We believe you, Captain America.

We Believe You, Captain America by Wesley2006 January 23, 2008

Being the Captain 

Like in the Star trek movies it means you are fucked.
You promote someone to Captain therefor putting al the blame and responsibility on that person. So you can sneak away.

"Hey James, i'm just going next door, and uh you're the Captain. Bye!"

"Ah FUCK!"

(therefor being the Captain)

Being the Captain by Spilox May 8, 2009

"Thank you Captain Obvious" 

A phrase generally used to indicate that someone, i.e. Captain Obvious, has just uttered something that everyone can see. Of course, this statement is usually uttered by someone who is only bright enough to see obvious things.

Me: "Good lord it's cold out here."

Schmuck: "Thank you Captain Obvious"

"Thank you Captain Obvious" by Ssenillis January 13, 2006

Fifteen hundred is good. Your captain will be pleased. 

Quote from the video game Mass Effect, spoken by Nihlus. Used to unenthusiastically congratulate someone.

Joker: Drift, just under 1500K.
Nihlus: Fifteen hundred is good. Your captain will be pleased.

Mort: Holy crap! I got into MIT!
Mort's Father: MIT is good. Your captain will be pleased.

Fifteen hundred is good. Your captain will be pleased. by Nihlus November 21, 2010

elevator captain

The person who stands in front of the buttons in the elevator and asks everyone what floor they would like pushed. Not to be confused with elevator attendant or operator. The elevator captain is just some doofus who insists on standing really close to the buttons so he/she can be the only one to push them.

The dork who thought he was the elevator captain leered at me when I asked him to push "69."

elevator captain by The Pirate of Pissants February 21, 2006

Fudge Tunnel Steamboat Captain 

One of the male homosexual persuasion, who is also a "top."

Hey Corey, check out that group of fudge tunnel steamboat captains going into Claire's.

Fudge Tunnel Steamboat Captain by Ghetto Neematoad July 16, 2008

Pipe captain 

A guy who is designated by his friend to have sex with, or pipe out, his girl while he is unable to do so.

Harry: "Hey Jack! Will you be my pipe captain while I am away this weekend?"
Jack: "I would be honored!"

Pipe captain by Johnny_whitestream November 10, 2016