Secret Jesus

Same concept used with Secret Santa during Christmas where everyone draws a name out of a hat and gifts the other person. Secret Jesus is used when participating with a Christian family primarily because Santa is believed to be of the devil and the gift exchange happens on New Year because Christmas Day is reserved for Jesus.

Person 1: "Hey, are you doing Secret Santa with your family this year?"

Person 2: "Nah, my family are fanatical Christians. It's more like a Secret Jesus gift exchange.

by scorpiotail December 29, 2010

oh jesus

when shit is getting too shitty

oh jesus, there's superglue on the toilet seat

by medical doser!!! May 8, 2020

Jesus grin

A stupid Christian look as to where people smile in a smug way knowing they are going to heaven and you're going to hell.

Atheist 1: Hey, did you see the picture of Katie on her facebook profile?

Atheist 2: Yeah, she has that stupid Jesus grin all over her face!

by honestguy87110 August 27, 2011

Jesus Valencia

A sexy good looking guy . A bozo who hates one peice. Has anger issues when playing video games.

Jesus Valencia is a bozo for calling one peice, "one peice of shit"

by SuburbanED July 18, 2021

Reverse Jesus

When you drink so much wine that it starts to taste like water.

Girl 1: "How was the wine pre-game last night?"
Girl 2: "I don't remember what I was drinking, I pulled a Reverse Jesus."
Girl 1: "Wym?"
Girl 2: " Bruh it hit a certain point that the Moscato tasted like a Brita Purifier."

by yoitsjulia September 12, 2020

Jesus Freedom

The product of total market deregulation, unlimited corporate political contributions, targeted tax cuts, and policies to protect vulnerable corporate interests, as Jesus intended it.

We need to cut spending, put a cap on deficits, and balance the budget by cutting taxes for job creators because that's Jesus freedom... the South will rise again.

by Global Warming1 January 24, 2012

Jesus Crisis

The combined total of the confusion and chaos created by all the religeous factions, their dogma, ritual and conflicting interpretations of ancient superstitious writings and failed attempts to give meaning to natural phenomenon.

People are murdering each other over who has the best imaginary friend, jesus crisis!

by JackTheWhipper June 28, 2019