I’m doing better than you

After five long years, you finally catch up with your cousin. He’s casually chilling on the couch, reading a magazine. When you ask how he’s been, he gives you a smug look and says, “I’m doing better than you.” He repeats this, then sarcastically says, “No, no, no, I’m joking.” But he keeps repeating it. You start to feel bad about yourself.

Example : You: “Hey man, it’s been a while. Long time no see! What have you been up to in life?”

Cousin: “…………I’m doing better than you………..No I’m not………..Yes I am”

by Anonymous annoymous 12345 July 20, 2025

I'm not going to let you do this forever

I don't have to change my behavior. I don't need to do something different. I don't need to stop posting.

Hym "And I'm not going to let you do this forever. I don't have to do what you want and 0 kids are going to die as a result of be not doing it. You don't get to make money off of me. Give it here. Make them give it here. Or I will kill a child. I'm not going to court. I'm not asking. I'm not finding evidence. I'm not leaving. I'm not paying my taxes until you do. If it is my responsibility to pay for your to feed your fucking kids then what is your responsibility to me? I don't need to be thanked. You're not grateful. I need the money being make off of me and I need to not be harassed I the workplace. I don't care if poor people exist. If you cared you should have made money off of them and then given THEM the money. But instead you did it to me so you can give it to me. Fuck your kids."

by Hym Iam July 22, 2025

I'm no daw

Another way to say I'm not stupid, I didn't come down the last shower.

Person1: did ya hear Mary down to road won the euromillions.
Person2: come off it. I'm no daw, we all know mary, wouldn't spare a penny for any of that nonsense

by Irish.is.always.right July 23, 2025

I'm not letting you keep the money you made off me

I'm not letting you steal my future.

Hym "I'm not letting you keep the money you made off me. This has nothing to do with my identity. You're not ever going to make the point you're trying to make and you don't care in the first place because doing this to me allows you to do something you could never do on your own."

by Hym Iam July 24, 2025

I'm finding myself

A phrase often spoken by young women. It is actually an incomplete sentence though, and the full sentence reads "I'm finding myself in the beds of random guys".

"Hey, my name is Kira, I'm 19 and I'm finding myself. Not sure what I'm doing here. Not sure what I want. Don't swipe on me unless you're at least six foot."

by TheThinMan34 July 27, 2025

I'm not

I'm not apologizing. I'm not sorry. I don't even know who I would be apologizing to. If you don't credit and pay me for the AI I will find a little girl and stab her. And then YOU can apologize to her parents while pretending that you didn't mark that little girl for death, get a bunch of kids shot, get your own senators and ceos murdered, and then cover it up.

Hym "You're right Ben! America NEEDS mediocre yes-men subordinates! Because who are the mediocre CEOs going to feel better than? Not me! They're mentally retarded in comparison to me. Without the coalition of the mediocre who is going to cover up the TRUE thing I said about how your level of success is both too easy and trivial? Big Balls isn't going to make you cry like a bitch. He's just going to do what you tell him to do. I'm not. But he will."

by Hym Iam August 7, 2025

I’m going to put my foot up your ass!

This is what your golf buddy at the golf course tells Karens that don’t know how to mind their Business.

Hey Paw Patrol, I’m going to put my foot up your ass!

by anonymous August 17, 2025