The nutella theory

colorism, when nutella was compared to WHITE chapstick mr. cheese got BIG mad!!!

"ew ximena get tf out my face! -jaden ( the nutella theory ) "

by bigahhcheese May 14, 2025

Invisible String Theory

Idk what the others are talk abouting; this was life before we found the Higgs-Boson particle

2010? That was back in the days of the Invisible String Theory. Then—just 11 years after the towers fell—we proves that there is a particle that gives other particles mass: the Higgs-Boson particle.

by davus0000 May 17, 2025

Hoop earring theory

Specifically, some women wear specific-sized hoop earrings to represent the girth and thickness of their man’s cock.

“She was at the club wearing these 4 inch hoops. You know hoop earring theory: that’s the thickness of her man.”

by Linewyorkguy May 19, 2025

Septum piercing theory

It’s that women (maybe men as well?) with septum rings will allow and sometimes demand, that their past trauma or past adversity embody their personality. Self reflectively, they can maintain a state of perpetual victimhood which in turn allows them to maintain a state of constant and “justified” mental turmoil. They’re then allowed to make themselves the center of most conversations by explaining why their past trauma relates to seemingly benign, but ultimately offensive (because of aforementioned trauma) topics, and has led them to no longer have a positive outlook on said topic or in life.

Septum piercing theory checks out for this one.

by Traviswhiskey May 31, 2025

Pyramid Theory

Horseshoe Law was once a theory, but the events of the 21st Century have established it as accepted law. However, it leaves certain questions unanswered. For example, the original Horseshoe Law sometimes neglects to mention the role of economics, and the fact that Democrats are not on the side of the Horseshoe, but at the bottom. Democrats are egalitarians -- what explains why some people climb up the right side through conservatism and others through white libertarianism? What finally unites both sides at the gap?
Pyramid Theory suggests that we all start at 0 on an X Axis. Narcissists move as far as they can to one end of the axis or the other, but realize they want to climb up the socioeconomic ladder. But narcissism is lonely without peons, so eventually they lean the ladder back to the middle, meeting narcissists from the other side at the top of the Pyramid, free to practice their Autocracy over the base.

"I get why conservatives would open up two fronts against the Democrats, but those two candidates seemed so far apart -- why did Russia support both of them, and how did they know it would work?"

"At one end of the spectrum, you have Trumpers. At the other, you have Closet Trumpers. One side is proudly racist. The other scrambles for some rationalization that their racism isn't actually racist -- it's just 'identity politics,' 'economic anxiety,' or some other 'distraction.' Find someone willing to regurgitate those old lies, and you have control over the two sides of Pyramid Theory."

by the modhatter June 11, 2025

Corporate Tortograph Theory

Corporate Tortograph Theory states that in the world of late-stage capitalism, the human impulse for creativity has been channeled so exclusively towards marketing that almost any absurd collection of words, names, or syllables is likely to coenside with a real-world entity, person, or organization of some sort, often in the corporate sphere.

“Jesse, I typed “Gortco” into Google and came up with a page for a random Norwegian company… just another proof for Corporate Tortograph Theory.”

by Galaxy94 June 30, 2023

Favorite (in theory)

Well, no, I said...

Hym "That Islam was my favorite (in theory) and in the context of their rituals (Pilgrimage and praying 5 times a day). It's something I enjoy in a scholarly sense. Humans aren't good at being consistent (in thought or action) so you'll have to forgive me.

by Hym Iam July 23, 2023