ObsolenceBalthazar's definitions

Glorp

Technical jargon which is confusing and obscure, sounding as if an alien had made it up. Can be used to refer to jargon in any field, as long as whatever it is it only makes sense to experts.

A: "The sprockets on this infinitely recurring cat-looper are getting dangerously close to the cross-cat-harpings, and as a result, the futtocks are taking too much weight. Maybe we should spangle them - or we could plug the dirk into the pineal gland."
B: "Dude, I don't understand a word of that glorp."

by ObsolenceBalthazar November 23, 2025

Polonizing

Giving unwanted advice in terms of aphorisms, like Polonius from "Hamlet". In the play, Polonius gives generic advice to multiple characters, which winds out being terrible every time. The people who do this usually do not follow the advice they dish out. Similar to, but not the same as, being "patronizing" to someone. As a verb, "Polonize".

A: "Remember, a penny saved is a penny earned!"
B: "Dude, you asked me for 5$ last week which you still have not paid back. You have no right to be so polonizing."

by ObsolenceBalthazar November 23, 2025

Killed Internet Theory

The idea that governments and tech companies are pushing AI services and internet regulations to create an internet where users can be easily controlled and monitored, using fake accounts to manufacture public consent and polluting discourse that worries the powerful. This decline in organic, user-generated content is “killing” the internet. Related to dead internet theory.

A: “It really sucks you need to ask AI for everything these days. I wish I could just search it online.”
B: “Oh, yeah. That’s intentional. Have you ever heard of Killed Internet Theory?”

by ObsolenceBalthazar December 14, 2025