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Jesus Platform Sandals 

Magical shoes. Similar to the brown sandals Jesus wore except.. They are PLATFORM. They can make anyone sexy. Even You. (Except for Bishnas) (They are evil creatures).
Lucinda: OMG, did you hear about the new Jesus Platform sandals?
Eugene: Yes. I bought them. Now Im a sexy boy.
Lucinda: Yes, yes you are ;) Did you see bishna bought them?
Eugene: Yes.. Shes still a bishna though.
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Jesus grin

A stupid Christian look as to where people smile in a smug way knowing they are going to heaven and you're going to hell.
Atheist 1: Hey, did you see the picture of Katie on her facebook profile?

Atheist 2: Yeah, she has that stupid Jesus grin all over her face!
Jesus grin by honestguy87110 August 27, 2011

Jesus Freedom 

The product of total market deregulation, unlimited corporate political contributions, targeted tax cuts, and policies to protect vulnerable corporate interests, as Jesus intended it.
We need to cut spending, put a cap on deficits, and balance the budget by cutting taxes for job creators because that's Jesus freedom... the South will rise again.
Jesus Freedom by Global Warming1 January 24, 2012

Jesus Placebo 

The thought that jesus will bandage your pains.
Hey man your back still hurting?
Yeah but I be on that jesus.
You mean jesus placebo?
Jesus Placebo by Stef@ May 5, 2014

jesus medina 

The one and only greatest. Known as the best 👏 no one like him 👌
Hey why you claiming to be Jesus Medina?
Cause I'm the best 👌, greatest one and only Jesus Medina 👏
jesus medina by awsomest May 16, 2014

jesus fried chicken 

its chicken made by the lord. Better than KFC
i am going to eat at Jfc( jesus fried chicken)

Jesus Crisis 

The combined total of the confusion and chaos created by all the religeous factions, their dogma, ritual and conflicting interpretations of ancient superstitious writings and failed attempts to give meaning to natural phenomenon.
People are murdering each other over who has the best imaginary friend, jesus crisis!
Jesus Crisis by JackTheWhipper June 28, 2019