jack-in-the-bed

When your man TRIES to discretely jack-off next to you in bed, thinking you're fast asleep, when in all reality, your laying there quietly, as the mattress gently, yet distinctly begins to bounce slightly, then more and more rapidly until he finally gets it done or until you kindly ask if he would like some help.

I get secretly turned on when my boyfriend plays Jack-In-The-Bed.

by posterpoker13 January 29, 2016

Go Home, Go Bed

An extremely long VanossGaming skit where Tyler tries to...get home and go to bed. But he ends up in several other places, including a strip club, a random street with a goomba (goomba, fuck you!), Hogwarts, Minecraft, the Moon itself, and many other places -- all while being completely ignorant as to where he is because he is player model is looking up while Vanoss tries his absolute hardest to keep it together.

I'm sick and tired of playing this stupid fucking game.

I just wanna go home, go bed.

by Ubeenbamboozledson December 9, 2021

Bed Sniffer

Australian slang; An investigator from a welfare agency, who comes to your house to test your eligibility and question weather or not you are having sexual relations with your housemates. (As income could be less for people in a defacto relationship, than that of people simply co-residing.

Had to set up a second bed in the spare room today, because the bed sniffers are coming to investigate.

by 3BG October 4, 2019

Fucked the bed

Screwing up something so ridiculously that the entire project was about as effective as "fucking the bed"

Wow Craig, you missed setting your line up Sunday after a brilliant week and ended up handing over your win, you really "fucked the bed" on that one.

by Savage Banshee April 23, 2017

Bed wetter

Someone who urinate in their bed

Mom: Daniel why did you piss in the bed again YOU BED WETTER

Daniel: I JUST CANT CONTROL IT

Lily went to a sleepover and her friends called her a bed wetter for pissing in the sleeping bag.

by Nathan_Quickscopes July 17, 2016

Sanding alabaster in bed

An excellent handjob.

She's a master, its like she's sanding alabaster in bed and I'm the sculpture.

by MsSaskatchewan February 22, 2013

Bed bumped

When you and your partner are having sex so rough you hit your head on the (nearest wall or vertical object) and then cum.

Hey! Did you get bed bumped last night? You look like a train wreck.

by OkieCat October 8, 2020