Coffee table-ing

The perverse sexual act of defecating onto a glass coffee table whilst someone lies underneath the coffee table to best observe the results

Derek was a huge fan of coffee table-ing

by otter89 July 21, 2009

table

An inanimate object that James Hetfield of Metallica claims to be.

I AM THE TABLE!

by m3tallic4 October 16, 2012

America's Got Talent

A piece-of-shit "talent" competition where people only vote for singers, dancers, and children who give sob-stories because they have a disease but have no skill at all.

Since the 3rd season, the ONLY successful acts have been those listed above. These assholes have killed a show with such a good concept and proves that America only likes generic, dry, boring singers/dancers that. for some reason, couldn't audition for "American Idol", "America's best Dance Crew" or "So You Think You Can Dance". Unique, fresh, exciting acts don't stand a chance.

Also, two of the three judges are currently English. Nice "American" show you got there

Bob: Did Harmonica Pierre get through on America's Got Talent?

John: No, instead, a kid that sounds like Kermit the Frog made it because he said he had Autism. Two guys that sing and another that dances also made it.

Bob: (Sarcasm) Wow, I've never seen those before. This is such a "unique" and "versatile" competition. (/sarcasm) Man, the show has gone down the drain since the Terry Fator won....

by Fuck AGT August 19, 2010

America's Got Talent

A "reality-based" gameshow where Americans, desperate to live their so-called "dreams" by winning a million dollars and becoming professional entertainers, perform in numerous rounds of competition in which they are judged by two non-Americans and a comedian with no discernable real talent. Contestants are kept on or rejected by popular vote regardless of merit or the judging panel's opinions.

Host: "Welcome to America's Got Talent! Piers, you didn't like this act... but America has voted.. and... WE'LL SEE YOU IN LAS VEGAS!!!"

by Humwriter September 7, 2011

Table Fucked

At Basic Training where one person at your table eats his or her food so fast that the Drill Sergeant, Military Instructor etc. believes the rest of the people at that table should've had enough time to eat, and makes everyone else at the table get up and go without even finishing their food. This usually results in the people who were at that table disliking that individual because they were "Table Fucked".

"Trainee Doe is done eating already why the hell aren't the rest of you finished!?!? Hydrate and get the piss out!"

Table Fucked Trainees "What the piss Doe, Why'd you table fuck us? We're starving!"

by Demolix October 31, 2011

Dicks On Table

When someone brags about their dick you stand up and shout dicks on table you both unzip your pants and whoever is the biggest wins.

He said he had a big dick so i said dicks on table and won

by qaswe April 29, 2009

Table Troll

The below average beer pong player on the losing team who fails to make one cup during a game of beer pong has to then sit under the table during the next game and drink the winning teams cups until that game is over.

julio: " damn jose u better make a shot! "

rico: " ya man or ur gonna end up being the table troll "

jose: " fuck my life "

by rich$dp June 11, 2008