These women love their children and like to be "cool" with the kids. Usually they try and protect their kids from anything that may be evil.
by Anonymous July 18, 2004
Get the soccer mommug. A 47 year old mom from texas who pulls up in her black SUV, soccer moms usually push their kids to be the best little soccer star you could ever be they usually have a terrible looking pixie cut and her little girl/boy knows but they cannot tell mom cause she is gonna pull out the belt so be cautious her name is probably along the lines of Susan Barbra or Carol her loving husband is probably named David or Mitch and only wants her for her money her oldest 19 yo daughter Sarah is making on the ‘‘world cup’’ when it’s really the finals of the game cause you know he secretly is on a high dose of weed and beer from all those pubs but she loves her husband and when little Jimmy gets fruit snacks at the end of the game
by chickenpie747 June 17, 2019
Get the Soccer Mommug. The inventors of some of the most decadent things to come in the world such as the minivan, V-chip, ESRB and censorship.
by R.F June 4, 2012
Get the soccer mommug. A middle-class woman who lives in the suburbs of the U.S. She spends an average of 30 hours a week just driving her kids, who are always still in middle/elementary school, to their little league soccer games.
Usually married. Always too busy to put up with you. Can be seen transporting themselves and their family in either a minivan or a large S.U.V. Her children's needs are far ahead of yours, your children, or hers. But she decides what they need. ALWAYS. They can often be found starting fundraisers to help their kids soccer teams. They often times try to steal money designated for other causes to donate to their childrens' soccer teams. Oftentimes want everyone else to be just like them. Refer to everyone as "neighbor". Will ALWAYS choose Clinton, no matter what they're voting for. May also be seen driving a Volvo, station wagon, etc. Nearly always white, but not always. Have memorized the macarena.
Their children are always overburdened with after-school activities. They also overparent their children to the point that once adulthood sets in, the children will likely not come into contact with the mother for a very long period of time. Although usually, one child becomes another soccer mom, and the cycle repeats.
Are always in constant threat of Iraq, terrorism, and,of course, their children being threatened in any way.
One last note - THEY ARE ALWAYS RADICAL CHRISTIANS. ALWAYS.
Usually married. Always too busy to put up with you. Can be seen transporting themselves and their family in either a minivan or a large S.U.V. Her children's needs are far ahead of yours, your children, or hers. But she decides what they need. ALWAYS. They can often be found starting fundraisers to help their kids soccer teams. They often times try to steal money designated for other causes to donate to their childrens' soccer teams. Oftentimes want everyone else to be just like them. Refer to everyone as "neighbor". Will ALWAYS choose Clinton, no matter what they're voting for. May also be seen driving a Volvo, station wagon, etc. Nearly always white, but not always. Have memorized the macarena.
Their children are always overburdened with after-school activities. They also overparent their children to the point that once adulthood sets in, the children will likely not come into contact with the mother for a very long period of time. Although usually, one child becomes another soccer mom, and the cycle repeats.
Are always in constant threat of Iraq, terrorism, and,of course, their children being threatened in any way.
One last note - THEY ARE ALWAYS RADICAL CHRISTIANS. ALWAYS.
Hey, see that soccer mom over there?
Yeah, the one with the car stickers on her minivan?
Is she the one in sweatpants and a t-shirt representing her kids' school?
Yeah, that one.
Okay, yeah. Let's kill it before it lays eggs.
Dude, too late!
Yeah, the one with the car stickers on her minivan?
Is she the one in sweatpants and a t-shirt representing her kids' school?
Yeah, that one.
Okay, yeah. Let's kill it before it lays eggs.
Dude, too late!
by Kangadrew6969 April 16, 2015
Get the Soccer Mommug. Mostly a white, dry pussy 30-50 year old mother who drives a "5 star SUV" to protect her so called "little angels" (meaning her children). With the stench of Happy Meals in her SUV, they can be found daily, picking up their children from school, the chess club, swim team, soccer practice, etc. Soccer moms are often liberal, and bitch about everything, from violent video games to when some one burps and doesn't say "Excuse me." Soccer moms can also be found in groups, which is called an oh shit.
Soccer moms pretty much worship their local public school, by attending all PTA meetings, forcing their little children to participate in all activities, and can always be found helping out at a school dance/play/concert/etc.
They are always against a war. No matter what the circumstance is of the war, there is almost always an oh shit in front of the White House protesting. A real soccer mom in this case would be wearing a shirt that claims her son died in Iraq; however, 65% of the time they don't even have a son at all, but just want attention.
Soccer moms also protest how the US doesn't care about America's youth. On some days, there would be a group of the protesters holding signs to stop DUI. Similar to the war protest, some soccer moms wear shirts that say their daughter was hit and killed by a drunk driver. Again, she may not even have a daughter.
When at home, a soccer mom are on the phone bitching to her other soccer mom friends, saying how their husband is so mean and doesn't care about her because he works 18 hours a day. The real reason that the husband works so much is because his wife spends his salary on a new SUV, gas money, groceries, and sends donations to organizations such at the Salvation Army, Red Cross, and the public school fund raisers. When the husband is finally home, he isntantly gets his balls ripped off by his wife because he worked all day. Just wanting to sleep, he goes to bed and the soccer mom gets all emotional because he only cares about work. Every day, she would think of how well behaved her little angels are in school. Ironically, her "little angel" is in detention at that very moment in order to feel liberated from their mother.
Also, soccer moms always flip shit when they see a video game in which anyone could be harmed in anyway. This means for her offspring that they cannot play games like Mario Kart, Super Mario, or even a hockey game because there are fights in it. In her eyes, this is how the ESRB rating system is:
Everyone: ok
E10+: E13+
T: 18
M: 21
Movies are almost the same thing. They refuse to let their child watch a movie like Finding Nemo because of the fact that the mother dies.
G: OK!
PG: Not safe
PG-13: They should be ashamed of themselves for making such a good movie.
R: *protest*
Soccer moms also are not generally smart when it comes to being offended. For example, if they are watching a Wedding Crashers and see the part with the girls on the bed, they will be enraged at the cast and bitch about how the movie is basically a porn movie. But instead of turning off the movie, they keep watching it anyway and get more insulted.
Soccer moms pretty much worship their local public school, by attending all PTA meetings, forcing their little children to participate in all activities, and can always be found helping out at a school dance/play/concert/etc.
They are always against a war. No matter what the circumstance is of the war, there is almost always an oh shit in front of the White House protesting. A real soccer mom in this case would be wearing a shirt that claims her son died in Iraq; however, 65% of the time they don't even have a son at all, but just want attention.
Soccer moms also protest how the US doesn't care about America's youth. On some days, there would be a group of the protesters holding signs to stop DUI. Similar to the war protest, some soccer moms wear shirts that say their daughter was hit and killed by a drunk driver. Again, she may not even have a daughter.
When at home, a soccer mom are on the phone bitching to her other soccer mom friends, saying how their husband is so mean and doesn't care about her because he works 18 hours a day. The real reason that the husband works so much is because his wife spends his salary on a new SUV, gas money, groceries, and sends donations to organizations such at the Salvation Army, Red Cross, and the public school fund raisers. When the husband is finally home, he isntantly gets his balls ripped off by his wife because he worked all day. Just wanting to sleep, he goes to bed and the soccer mom gets all emotional because he only cares about work. Every day, she would think of how well behaved her little angels are in school. Ironically, her "little angel" is in detention at that very moment in order to feel liberated from their mother.
Also, soccer moms always flip shit when they see a video game in which anyone could be harmed in anyway. This means for her offspring that they cannot play games like Mario Kart, Super Mario, or even a hockey game because there are fights in it. In her eyes, this is how the ESRB rating system is:
Everyone: ok
E10+: E13+
T: 18
M: 21
Movies are almost the same thing. They refuse to let their child watch a movie like Finding Nemo because of the fact that the mother dies.
G: OK!
PG: Not safe
PG-13: They should be ashamed of themselves for making such a good movie.
R: *protest*
Soccer moms also are not generally smart when it comes to being offended. For example, if they are watching a Wedding Crashers and see the part with the girls on the bed, they will be enraged at the cast and bitch about how the movie is basically a porn movie. But instead of turning off the movie, they keep watching it anyway and get more insulted.
Rinaldi burped aloud in the gym, vausing it to echo. He was then given a 10 minute lecture from a soccer mom on how he needs some manners. Being the dumb shit he is, he calls her a bitch. This resorted in a school conference about profanity in the schools.
by Mr. Gzella January 16, 2007
Get the soccer mommug. A matriarchical parental unit who's parenting ethos is based on rigidity, indoctrination, and denial of everything that would otherwise make its kids more independent. Also opposes video games, guns, and self-defense. Often supports globalism and "peace." Is against rugged individualism. Tries to "break" its kids of their individuality.
A cabal of child-abusing soccer moms tried to abolish fun and got themselves shot dead by an underground resistance movement of Right-Wing vigilante Goths.
by Iggy Hazard January 15, 2004
Get the soccer mommug. married woman with children between about 6 and 10 who drives a large car such as a station wagon, and spends most of your time shunting her kids and kids' friends around. Often takes an active interst in the kids activities.
by Nursie November 15, 2006
Get the soccer mommug.