perfect crime

What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

that is the perfect crime

by oof_man27 December 11, 2019

Clubbing the chimp

Another term for male masturbation.

I came home early and caught Phil clubbing the chimp while watching a porno.

by Jack Goff September 23, 2006

art crime

grafitti-usually found in inner city or on trains passing through in a rural suburb.

Stopped at the train crossing; I say to my sister "wow" look at all that grafitti. No sis, it's an "art crime"

by KC, MFD & Big Sister T February 21, 2007

Diva Chimp

1. A person whose long-reinforced sense of entitlement overwhelms and disables their ability to understand and/or adhere to reasonable social norms

2. A person who kills the fun.

Alternate definition and origin:
A chimpanzee raised in wealth and comfort and trained in the entertainment industry who is now retired and is unable to adapt to a chimpanzee's natural habitat in favor of a pampered human-like existence.

Person 1: I'm hungry.
Person 2: I can make you an omelet.
Person 1: You must assure me that they are farm fresh, locally raised cage-free organic eggs, and be sure to separate the whites from the yolk.
Person 2: Stop being such a diva chimp.

by dcp2010 June 6, 2010

Thumb cramp

The kind of cramp you get from pressing the sprint button on Modern warfare 2 for too long

I got this masive thumb cramp from useing my marathonclass too long..

by Mr, R December 2, 2010

Jebus Crisp

What people should say when they are shocked around Christian

"OMFG! JEBUS CRISP!" I said when I saw something disgusting. I didn't want to offend any of the Christians around this area, so I just said Jebus Crisp instead.

by Tauralea Swaggs December 12, 2015

chimp out

When an individual or a group of individuals of African descent throw(s) a tantrum.

"Did you see those clowns chimp out after George Floyd sodomized himself to death with all that fentanyl?"

by KiggerNike June 14, 2023