ass carpet

A thick growth of hair on a man's (or, I suppose, a woman's) ass. Extremely unattractive.

'Whenever he gets drunk he thinks it's funny to pull his pants down and show us his butt, but the joke's on him. Now everybody totally knows he has a CRAZY ass carpet.'

by Something_Vague July 15, 2007

dancing on the carpet

Appearing before The Boss' desk, squirming, while attempting to explain a failure or transgression on your part.

The Boss had him dancing on the carpet for that screw-up.

by barber of seville November 22, 2011

eating carpet

woman who licks pussy

If we wanna be lesbians, we have to learn how to eat carpet.

by Sean Harrington January 7, 2005

carpet banging

(verb)
1. Sex on a rug, usually with extreme vigor, often resulting in carpet burns.
2. When a man thrusts into the vagina forcefully, causing a "slapping" sound; often resulting in "carpet burns" from the pubic hair, or, "carpet."

There was so much carpet banging this weekend we needed Neosporin.

by Antenna Wilde February 15, 2008

Carpet tunnel syndrome

The ache in your hand and wrist after a night of rubbing ones pussy a bit too much.

After reading erotic emails from a "friend", I realized that all my chronic masturbating left me with carpet tunnel syndrome.

by Beckett17 January 31, 2009

Carpet snake

Invisible, mythical creatures whose only objective is to trip you and make it seem as if you've tripped over your own 2 feet.

Eve tripped, then shouted "Carpet snake!" when we laughed at her.

by rebeccah January 23, 2007

Carpet Sniffer

A Carpet Sniffer is a Muslim, That's it, a fucking towel head.

"Allah Akbar" *Explosions* "Fuckin Carpet sniffer blowing up those civilians."

by Muslim-Killer September 1, 2018