constipated singing

{kon-stuh-peyt sing-ing}

1. act of performing a song or voice composition so terribly that the singer is likely or at least seems to be in danger of dying from chronic and/or severe constipation.

2. act of performing a song or voice composition so painfully forced and earnestly that the listeners to said alleged music torture suffer from multiple colon perforations that can and will likely lead to the listener's death

When will Sam Smith's manager force him to go to the ER? I'm scared that he will die from chronic constipation. He's been diagnosed by dozens of doctors listening to his constipated music and his constipated singing.

by Tsarstepan September 5, 2019

Constipated fox

To dive nose first into a butthole, not unlike a fox diving in the snow.

"I shoved my nose on her ass! I'd never done a constipated fox before!"

by Chasingcars614 August 2, 2017

Facebook Constipation

Refraining from posting to social media for an extended period due to lack of motivation, internet service, stupid people, etc. Often followed by Facebook Diarrhea.

Sorry for posting so much lately; I just got over a bout of Facebook Constipation.

by JohnnyApocalypse September 13, 2015

Constipated toast

It is an insult and/or a joke. It also goes along well with the word bird.

person: Hey, nerd.
you: shut the fuck up you constipated toast.
person: the' fuck did you say to me?
you: thats right you fucking bird!
(silence)

by dave829 June 16, 2011

Occupational Constipation

When you just can't give a shit about something at work. This is usually due to seeing wonderful new programs fall on their faces time and time again.

Worker 1: Hey, did you see we're having a raffle to win plastic water guns?! You get tickets by bringing in school supplies!!!! It's such a great idea!
Worker 2: Sorry, I'm suffering from a bad case of occupational constipation.

by Dilberto, Prince of Mierda August 26, 2013

head constipation

The phenomenon of having so much information on one subject due to researching on it but being unable to draw it out into sensible written representation. Most commonly suffered during exams, thesis writing and such.

I can't quite get my paper written even though I have all the required information. I must be suffering from head constipation.

by Anushree Deshpande October 14, 2007

Mentally Constipated

-the feeling of being over-bloated.
-almost at the point of puking.
-being really full

I am mentally constipated.

by TheConstipationExpert February 21, 2011