by Thatone alwaystellin the truth June 3, 2018
Get the Christianity mug.A cult that has done no more good than bad. Even though it was written long ago, that is no reason people should accept it as a "Moral compass."
Christianity makes no more sense than Scientology or any other cult out there.
Don't they have a comet to catch?
Don't they have a comet to catch?
by Iamadicktoday January 1, 2011
Get the Christianity mug.THE ONE AND ONLY FAITH THAT IS NOT FALSE AND WILL ACTUALLY GET YOU INTO HEAVEN FOR ALL OF ETERNITY!!! (And it's really, really, really easy to do...) All you have to do is
1.) Ask Jesus to come into your life,
2.) Just sincerely ask Jesus' forgiveness for your sins. (All people are sinners, and nobody is better than anyone else. All people are equal. However, Christians have been wiped clean by the HOLY blood of Christ and are therefore sinless and blameless in the eyes of God.)
3.)Admit that you believe Jesus is the Son of God and that He came to earth and died for your sins of His own free will. (IE: He didn't have to die for you, but he CHOSE to because His love for you lasts FOREVER!!!!)
4.) Do your best to live a life according to the Bible. This doesn't mean that if you accidentally stumble every now and then that you are doomed to an eternity in hell; instead, it means that God will forgive ANYTHING that you have done in the past, present or future!! It doesn't matter if you've raped a girl, killed an senior citizen, etc... GOD WILL FORGIVE YOU!! I GUARANTEE IT!!!! If you dont believe me, try the steps above, and see if you dont immediately feel the peace and love of God descending upon you and covering your entire body!!! TEST ME!! (You have to be sincere when you ask His forgiveness though, or nothing will happen. God is not one to be mocked.)
1.) Ask Jesus to come into your life,
2.) Just sincerely ask Jesus' forgiveness for your sins. (All people are sinners, and nobody is better than anyone else. All people are equal. However, Christians have been wiped clean by the HOLY blood of Christ and are therefore sinless and blameless in the eyes of God.)
3.)Admit that you believe Jesus is the Son of God and that He came to earth and died for your sins of His own free will. (IE: He didn't have to die for you, but he CHOSE to because His love for you lasts FOREVER!!!!)
4.) Do your best to live a life according to the Bible. This doesn't mean that if you accidentally stumble every now and then that you are doomed to an eternity in hell; instead, it means that God will forgive ANYTHING that you have done in the past, present or future!! It doesn't matter if you've raped a girl, killed an senior citizen, etc... GOD WILL FORGIVE YOU!! I GUARANTEE IT!!!! If you dont believe me, try the steps above, and see if you dont immediately feel the peace and love of God descending upon you and covering your entire body!!! TEST ME!! (You have to be sincere when you ask His forgiveness though, or nothing will happen. God is not one to be mocked.)
REPORTER: So, God... Which religion is the only way out of an eternity in the lake of fire?
GOD: That's easy. Christianity of course!
GOD: That's easy. Christianity of course!
by Salvation for ALL PEOPLE. September 17, 2006
Get the Christianity mug.A religion that spouted off of judaism 100-200 years before the year 0. They believe in Jesus christ being the son of god, and that if you dont believe that you are going to hell. Some christians have decided to be more lax and say only SOME people are going to hell. Some Uber-christians hate everyone who isnt exactly like them, but tries to prech peace and tolerance. Although many believe Christianity to be a monotheistic religion, in all actuality it would be called a duo-theistic religion because they have two gods.
Mary was only a half virgin, but so she could father the founder of christianity was told: "You can suck all the dick you want and still be a virgin... MARY!"
~Excerpt from "Mr. Hankeys Christmas Classics"
~Excerpt from "Mr. Hankeys Christmas Classics"
by Incinerator1990 April 25, 2006
Get the Christianity mug.a cult of people who believe in a single all knowing and all deciding god, who only lets a few people into "heaven" explained to be an afterlife paradise. despite his son dying for the forgiveness of all people.
by Iamfemale January 2, 2021
Get the christianity mug.1) beckyy:why dnt u read the bible if ur bored
robb: why dnt u go read hitler's mein kampf tat full of ridictulous lies 2
becky: i thought you were Christian and believed in Christianity
robb: y would i believe lies?
becky:..........
robb exactly.....
robb: why dnt u go read hitler's mein kampf tat full of ridictulous lies 2
becky: i thought you were Christian and believed in Christianity
robb: y would i believe lies?
becky:..........
robb exactly.....
by Blushingtwirls May 15, 2009
Get the Christianity mug.A cult formed by men nearly 2000 years ago. The original group comprised of mainly homosexuals. 12 men sitting around holding hands, and hiding from women. Mordern day advocates include Rev. Ted Haggard, who enjoyed not only preaching christianity, but the meeting with a male prostitute and snorting meth and truly practicing it. Some followers have gotten confused and forgot of the medievil religious male orgies and choose to believe that homosexuality is evil. These people don't realize women are the true evil, and if not for them we could still be in paradise.
I rested my head in the small of his back, "god bless christianity!" I huffed and wiping the sweat from his back off my lips.
by York Underwood November 18, 2006
Get the christianity mug.