Commander Crunch

What you call someone when their timeframe for a task is 6-10 months

How is it Commander Crunch hasn’t been fired yet? What a useless sack of shit.

by Flop the beat April 3, 2020

Captain Crunch

Highly dangerous statue, capable of extremely fast movement when not being observed. Snaps necks, making a ‘crunch’ sound. Commonly known as SCP-173.

D Class 1: Oh shit, it’s Captain Crunch! Keep your eyes on it!
D Class 2: Blinking!
Captain Crunch snaps D Class 2’s neck.
D Class 2: CRUNCH!

by Natquik May 24, 2020

Clapton Crunch cereal

A peanut-buttery kiddie-favorite breakfast-food dat's endorsed by da famous "Great Eric" music man.

Just because Clapton Crunch cereal is enthusiastically touted by having da Great Eric "singing da praise" for it, this does not automatically mean dat it's truly a healthy food for humans... I would still wanna check da ingredients before I started gleefully shoveling huge spoonfuls of it into my mouth!

by QuacksO June 26, 2020

Field Crunch

Oral sex being performed on a woman who is oblivious to the existence of razors and personal hygiene

She’s pretty good in bed, but she prefers someone who knows how to field crunch

by GianniGod October 6, 2020

Covid Crutch

Things that were done pre pandemic that could still be done during the pandemic but service providers use Covid as an excuse for not offering it.

The manicurist used the Covid crutch to get out of the shoulder massage. The waitress that servers us 4 courses used the Covid crutch to not wrap our extra food.

by anonymous January 15, 2021

Counter crutch

To counter crutch is to resist engagement because of fear of being rejected. To feel shy.

The guza was too peng so I counter crutched.

by Cilantro January 18, 2021

Captain Crunch

When drunk people fall down or get messed up in their drunken state.

*drunk person trips over curb and smokes face on parking meter*
Joe - "Wow, that dude just captain crunched!"

by OSO_LOCO January 21, 2021