Mach Jesus

Something traveling well above the "reasonable speed" that it should be
Me and my buddy were traveling Mach Jesus down the back roads on a beer run last night
by SomeRedneck69 June 10, 2021
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Double Jesus

When two bearded human males cut a square shaped section off from each others buttocks cheeks and place them into an empty wine glass, then proceed to urinate into said wine glass at the same time. In this process, the urine will begin to resemble wine in coloration due to the blood escaping from the cut off portions of flesh. Once they have completed urination, they then pour the concoction over each others heads as they masturbate furiously into a collection plate like those found in Catholic churches while screaming "Praise me" loud enough for all of their neighbors to hear. This is a Double Jesus.
Tom Cruise: Hey Chuck, did ya catch the latest episode of Breaking Bad last night?
Chuck Norris: Naw, I was too busy doing the Double Jesus with Zach Galifianakis.
Tom Cruise: Whatchu talkin' 'bout Willis?
Chuck Norris: Can you bail me out homie?
by PenetrationStation December 19, 2014
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Jesus Juice

Well Its basically..Kahlula, Vodka, Rum, Whisky, Rye, and Sprite with a lil bit of orange pop. Devon My brah made it up and its pretty awesome we get crunked off of it all the time Good times on May long man
Jesus Juice The ultimate drinkIt all took place on may long and it doesnt give you too bad of a hang over/. no it actually goes we drank like 3 pitchers of water after that
by Denholm(AKADavid) December 14, 2005
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Purple Jesus

A drink made by squeezing concentrated grape juice down the neck of a fifth or a quart of cheap vodka. Shake, serve, and drink: preferably on a levee river bank. This drink has been known in the San Joaquin Valley of Northern California for over fifty years and is rumored to be from the hobo camps: a tramp cocktail not for amateurs.
My first alcoholic drink was a paper cup filled to the brim with Purple Jesus.
by St. Charles September 05, 2009
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Jesus Christ

Not only is he the dude who mows my lawn, he is the world's most popular imaginary friend! Second only to Barney and Santa of course. But he is way too far out of their league to even be compared.
When Jesus Christ goes home from mowing my lawn, he gives Santa and Barney the old Mormon Fistbump.
by Why do I have a t-shirt cannon January 13, 2011
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Jesus Christ

Jesus Christ is an imaginary person. He is also the main character of God's best-selling fictional book "The Bible".

Unfortunately, many cult members beleive Jesus Christ to be alive today, even though that would make him 2009 years old. Many cult members also beleive that Jesus Christ has magical powers; including, telepathy, teleportation, and telekinesis, among others.
person A : "Hey! I read this great book the other day! In it, some guy called Jesus Christ did all this crazy stuff! He can read my prayers and teleport!"

Person B : "Do you realise that Jesus Christ is a fictional person, and can't actually do all of the things he says he can?"
by Jonathon Harker April 02, 2009
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Jesus Child

is a manufactured person, someone that is acting like someone they're not. Since Jesus Christ had no children, calling someone a Jesus Child is referring to them as a fake.
"You ask me to change who I am for you, but when YOU look in the mirror you're just a Jesus Child."
by Big Brother D July 23, 2009
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