The most low key addictive substance on the planet. Coffee ruins lives worldwide but everybody scared to talk about it out of fear that the starbucks mermaid will pop outta your toilet and strangle you but guess what....Im into that sort of thing so bring it on starbucks. Our homeless crisis, drug epidemic, and rising divorce rates are all caused by coffee.
1) Coffee WAS affordable, that is, until starbucks came along and started charging $10 for a coffee. Now with Bidens inflation its probably $12. This is the oldest trick in the book, get people hooked on a cheap drug and then jack up the price. This is why everyone is homeless now, they blew all their money on starbucks.
2) This drug epidemic is only happening because starbucks is too expensive and we're all desperately looking for cheaper alternatives which take the form of crack, cocaine, meth, adderall, ect. These drugs were invented as a replacement for coffee, look it up!
3) Couples are divorcing because they get amped up on "the juice" and start fighting over what the best brand or some shit and before they know it theyre swinging on eachother. Baristas need to be held accountable for how many shots they give a person. After coming down off that shit when theyre flat broke in the gutter the only option left is divorce.
These are the people asking you for spare change at the store. They go to a local coffee shop and take straight shots. Sad but true reality. Coffee is the most dangerous substance on the planet
1) Coffee WAS affordable, that is, until starbucks came along and started charging $10 for a coffee. Now with Bidens inflation its probably $12. This is the oldest trick in the book, get people hooked on a cheap drug and then jack up the price. This is why everyone is homeless now, they blew all their money on starbucks.
2) This drug epidemic is only happening because starbucks is too expensive and we're all desperately looking for cheaper alternatives which take the form of crack, cocaine, meth, adderall, ect. These drugs were invented as a replacement for coffee, look it up!
3) Couples are divorcing because they get amped up on "the juice" and start fighting over what the best brand or some shit and before they know it theyre swinging on eachother. Baristas need to be held accountable for how many shots they give a person. After coming down off that shit when theyre flat broke in the gutter the only option left is divorce.
These are the people asking you for spare change at the store. They go to a local coffee shop and take straight shots. Sad but true reality. Coffee is the most dangerous substance on the planet
by anonymous February 17, 2024
Get the Coffeemug. by Oilymen November 30, 2023
Get the meet me at the coffee shopmug. The act of pouring hot steamy coffee on one's own dick, then having a female immediately eat a peppermint patty and then begin to give you a blowjob.
Bro 1: "Yo, bro beans, did she give you The Hot Steamy Coffee Cool Down last night?"
Bro 2: "Yeah dude! At first it hurt like shit, and then you're like oh shit, my dick is in peppermint heaven!"
Bro 1: "AW that's sick man! I for sure need to try that sometime!"
Bro 2: "Yeah dude! At first it hurt like shit, and then you're like oh shit, my dick is in peppermint heaven!"
Bro 1: "AW that's sick man! I for sure need to try that sometime!"
by BoBoBaggins December 5, 2012
Get the The Hot Steamy Coffee Cool Downmug. A trick performed on a mountain bike or stunt bike where instead of properly landing a jump or bailing off, the rider lands ass first on the rear tire while the bicycle is still in motion, causing the rear tire tread to grind into the helpless rider's asshole as the bike slowly comes to a stop.
"Raul tried to hit that nasty tabletop jump at the bottom of the hill, but the dipshit half chickened out mid jump and ended up doing a coffee grinder instead! What a shithead!"
by BenEvolutioN April 5, 2022
Get the Coffee Grindermug. Rapid need to defecate after a cup or a sip of coffee in the morning. Is usually strengthened by a cigarette or any nicotine dispenser.
- Where have you been??
- Sorry, I had a coffee brick :(
- Yeah, better to shit beforehand than shit in bare hand...
- Sorry, I had a coffee brick :(
- Yeah, better to shit beforehand than shit in bare hand...
by jkl334 May 4, 2024
Get the Coffee brickmug. The necessary container for the all-essential life juice known as coffee. Substitutions, such as a foam cup, a thermos, or otherwise, may taint the coffee.
When my Urban Dictionary coffee mug went missing, I went for 3 hours that morning without a single cup of coffee! I almost died!
by NinjaChicken666 January 12, 2020
Get the Coffee Mugmug. by najinos May 13, 2011
Get the coffee plungermug.