Luck of a Turtle 

When someone/something is having very bad luck. As turtles have little to no luck because they are slow and if they end up on their back they cannot get up.

A soccer team keeps getting shots on goal, but just cannot get the ball in.

Max states: God! We have the luck of a turtle right now!

Luck of a Turtle by mills messsss November 7, 2010

feared the turtle 

Fear the Turtle is what a woman experiences when she realizes halfway through vaginal intercourse that her bowels are full and her enjoyment of the sex has been superseded by her fear of crapping the bed.

Sue had to ask Drew to stop fucking her because she feared the turtle. She got on the can for a minute, then hopped back in bed, and no longer feared the turtle.

feared the turtle by Wangus Maximuz May 14, 2011

Jon's Turtle 

Jon's everything. Mom, dad, sister, dog, best friend, EVERYTHING. Not to be confused with Jon's tortoise

Person: "Hey Jon, how's your Jon's turtle"
Jon: "o_o"

Jon's Turtle by Aly and Vyacheslav October 29, 2012

scissoring off the turtle head 

When you are taking a shit, it's the last little pieces to come out.

Dude 1: Cmon' bro, let's hit the clubs.

Dude 2 (taking massive dump): One sec, man, I'm scissoring off the turtle head.

scissoring off the turtle head by Heezy P. March 16, 2014

Reverse Ninja Turtle 

A man with well defined, possibly protruding abs. Instead of a shell on his back, he has a "shell" on his stomach.

That guy has done so many sit ups he's become a reverse ninja turtle.

Reverse Ninja Turtle by reverseninjaturtle July 18, 2016

that damn turtle 

When you casually trip or fall and need to play it off by blaming the turtle, of course

Dude 1: *trips* Woah
Dude2: yo you okay?
Dude1:yea man it was that damn turtle
Dude2:what turtle?
Dude1: that damn turtle, you didn't see him? man he was right here!!

that damn turtle by Hailey B May 16, 2016

Piedmont box turtle 

Placing a finger unexpectedly inside your sleeping lover's anus, which makes their Head suddenly Pop up above the covers

You better wake up before the Piedmont box turtle comes

Piedmont box turtle by Doo Doo Magnolia July 21, 2016