turd-blogging

The act of texting your friends to tell them about the crap you are currently taking.

Turd-blogging is an excellent way to pass the time during a particularly difficult crap.

by Jimmy Simpson January 12, 2008

golden turd

A person who is not a good person, (Most of time BF or GF). They are malignant, will destroy you and your life. In the end being you are the insane person who needs help.

Glen: Yo remember her from high school ? She’s hot now....

Gabe- dude don’t mess with her, she’s a “golden turd”.

by Linearity August 23, 2020

Road Turd

When travelling in a vehicle for great distances, ie all day, you are forced to hold your bowels due to the lack of clean restrooms.

Jack(Passenger seat): Brad why are you all clenched up with sweats over there?

Brad(Driving): Because I've been driving for 600 miles and my Road Turd is crowning! I can't wait to get home to my bathroom.

by SpicyTuna23 August 23, 2011

Dyno turd

The massive shit one takes the morning after eating everything in sight because you smoked so much satans lettuce. Thus, making it look like a tryceritops shat in your toilet.

"Dude, the munchies always give me the worst dyno turds."

by DentalDamnDebbie March 26, 2016

turd satchel

a man purse that can be carried around while traveling, it is used for shitting in when there in no toilet around.

“dude, can i please use your turd satchel? i left mine at home and i rly gotta fucking dump”

by sweetpickleluver24 September 9, 2021

turd bug

A turd bug is any insect that is immediately attracted to the source of the smell and consistency of feces.

This is especially true when the originator of the feces has eaten something that is home cooked and greasy, or so overly seasoned that when the consumer voids the material out of their system the odor is suffocating.

Turd bugs are a secondary consumer of food products and are vital to composting and ongoing life cycles.

After Darnell took a shit in the bathroom the turd bugs were buzzing around the stall and trying to break through the screen ventilation windows just to get a taste of that...

Every time Chuck takes a dump, the turd bugs magically turn out to join in the celebration.

by SPELLING May 15, 2023

Turd Jerk

A sexual act in which one defecates into the palm of ones hand to then grip the turd-covered palm around the shaft of the users penis, while violently, yet carefully, keeping the turd safe within the proximity of said penis.

We were having an alright time at the party until Roger got too drunk and started turd jerking Samuel in front of everyone

by Mattimus87 June 14, 2011