People who update there status (mainly stones) daily with bullshit philosophies and phrases, in a bid to try and make themselves look intellectual.
For example a facebook philosophers may say Don't stay in bed unless your making money in bed etc...
by godsgift55 July 11, 2011
Get the facebook philosophers mug.Jim: Hey, are you friends with Joe on facebook?
Bob: I think so, let me check...hey wait a minute, he unfriended me! What a facebook douche!
Bob: I think so, let me check...hey wait a minute, he unfriended me! What a facebook douche!
by roflcopter12 January 2, 2010
Get the Facebook douche mug.Related Words
a person who seems to have a facebook for the sole purpose of cracking (often unfunny) jokes, usually in others' status updates. in reality, they're just looking for attention in a stupid way, and usually not even a real friend.
User 1: I can't believe that all of my work was lost just now when the power went out.
*facebook comedian likes this*
facebook comedian: I can! ololololol
User 2: *ignores previous post by non-friend comedian* daaaamn dude. i'm sorry that happened to you.
*facebook comedian likes this*
facebook comedian: I can! ololololol
User 2: *ignores previous post by non-friend comedian* daaaamn dude. i'm sorry that happened to you.
by loligagging April 23, 2011
Get the facebook comedian mug.An internet networking site. Generally people sign up so they can keep in touch with those they don't see often. Extremists--generally teenagers through those in their mid-twenties--sign up so they can be with everyone they know all the time. It is an obsessive practice comparable to stalking.
Often people update their status as if they were tweeting on twitter, which is extreme. They are two different sites and should not be treated the same. We do not need to know that you "Really have to pee" then "going to the bathroom" and then "done peeing." We honestly do not care.
Additionally, the number of applications increases almost daily, and there are some which are practically identical: take farmtown and farmville for example. Same concept. Earning money in either is not the same as going out in the real world and getting a job. Speaking of jobs. If you have one, set your facebook to private. Your boss may check it out once in awhile and if he sees pictures of you holding red cups with mysterious liquids inside, that may be grounds for a breathalyzer and or urine test before your next shift.
Also, facebook is not real life. The number of people who add you as friends does not equate the number of friends you actually have. Realistically you probably only have 10% of that number in real life...if that. Also, people can attend events that they weren't even invited to. So keep them private people. Public is not safe. No one wants that creepy kid who spends all his time on facebook sifting through the events that everyone is going to and then clicking Attending even though he wasn't invited. That is completely unnecessary and avoidable. You know it happens too. This kid probably also comments on everyone's status updates
On the whole, facebook is a vortex or black hole, if you will, of procrastination. Nothing important happens there, but everyone thinks everything important gets talked about on facebook. It also leads to people feeling left out. For example, if Sheila spent friday night at home with nothing to do she probably would spend it on facebook, and then she would be aware that her best friends Abby, Janie, Babs, and Dolores were all hanging out without her.
This was likely an event that Dolores started and wanted to be private so Sheila wouldn't find out, but the obviously she'd know about it eventually.
How would she know?
because Abby's status would read: Just ate cake at Dolores's.
Janie's would read: "Yellow light!" which is probably some inside joke that Sheila is left out on.
Babs's would say: Haha. I kick ass at apples to apples!
then Dolores's would say: Wow, what a mess! Cleaning up after my killer party.
Then Sheila would know that she doesn't really have friends because she was not invited. Poor Sheila.
Then there are the pictures. Which are almost as depressing as Sheila's situation. Imagine if Sheila had attended Dolores's party. It is likely that there would be no photographic documentation of her attending because she would be the one taking the picture. Yes, the trademark picture on facebook is of people taking pictures of themselves or of them and their friends with an arm outstretched. In the situation above, however, there are too many girls to fit. So why not a mirror picture? you ask. Well Sheila is the fat friend, so she would no doubt be cut off in that mirror. It's a shame. If only Sheila would stop eating her feelings.
The best thing about facebook, is logging on as your friend and changing their language settings. I strongly reccomend English (pirate) it is quite hillarius. Or if you want to be really annoying, pick something with symbols that are impossible to read, and then your friend won't be able to find the settings link and likely never be able to change the language back.
Often people update their status as if they were tweeting on twitter, which is extreme. They are two different sites and should not be treated the same. We do not need to know that you "Really have to pee" then "going to the bathroom" and then "done peeing." We honestly do not care.
Additionally, the number of applications increases almost daily, and there are some which are practically identical: take farmtown and farmville for example. Same concept. Earning money in either is not the same as going out in the real world and getting a job. Speaking of jobs. If you have one, set your facebook to private. Your boss may check it out once in awhile and if he sees pictures of you holding red cups with mysterious liquids inside, that may be grounds for a breathalyzer and or urine test before your next shift.
Also, facebook is not real life. The number of people who add you as friends does not equate the number of friends you actually have. Realistically you probably only have 10% of that number in real life...if that. Also, people can attend events that they weren't even invited to. So keep them private people. Public is not safe. No one wants that creepy kid who spends all his time on facebook sifting through the events that everyone is going to and then clicking Attending even though he wasn't invited. That is completely unnecessary and avoidable. You know it happens too. This kid probably also comments on everyone's status updates
On the whole, facebook is a vortex or black hole, if you will, of procrastination. Nothing important happens there, but everyone thinks everything important gets talked about on facebook. It also leads to people feeling left out. For example, if Sheila spent friday night at home with nothing to do she probably would spend it on facebook, and then she would be aware that her best friends Abby, Janie, Babs, and Dolores were all hanging out without her.
This was likely an event that Dolores started and wanted to be private so Sheila wouldn't find out, but the obviously she'd know about it eventually.
How would she know?
because Abby's status would read: Just ate cake at Dolores's.
Janie's would read: "Yellow light!" which is probably some inside joke that Sheila is left out on.
Babs's would say: Haha. I kick ass at apples to apples!
then Dolores's would say: Wow, what a mess! Cleaning up after my killer party.
Then Sheila would know that she doesn't really have friends because she was not invited. Poor Sheila.
Then there are the pictures. Which are almost as depressing as Sheila's situation. Imagine if Sheila had attended Dolores's party. It is likely that there would be no photographic documentation of her attending because she would be the one taking the picture. Yes, the trademark picture on facebook is of people taking pictures of themselves or of them and their friends with an arm outstretched. In the situation above, however, there are too many girls to fit. So why not a mirror picture? you ask. Well Sheila is the fat friend, so she would no doubt be cut off in that mirror. It's a shame. If only Sheila would stop eating her feelings.
The best thing about facebook, is logging on as your friend and changing their language settings. I strongly reccomend English (pirate) it is quite hillarius. Or if you want to be really annoying, pick something with symbols that are impossible to read, and then your friend won't be able to find the settings link and likely never be able to change the language back.
"Wow, I have 56 new notifications on my facebook!"
Girl 1:"Hey girl, I feel like we haven't talked in ages!"
Girl 2:"Um hello, we just got done talking on facebook chat!"
"Bye Chelsea, I really wish I could stay. But I have to check my facebook."
Boy 1 attends a facebook event at his buddy's house. Upon his arrival he notices a line of people waiting to us the buddy's computer and check their facebooks.
Boy 1: "Hey, what's the line for?"
Buddy: "Oh, they're waiting to check their facebooks."
Boy 1: "Oh, hey I'm next. I need to know what happened in the two minutes it took me to walk to your house."
Boy 2 (who has just checked his, thenlogged off and walked to the end of the line) Wait your turn kid.
Girl 1:"Hey girl, I feel like we haven't talked in ages!"
Girl 2:"Um hello, we just got done talking on facebook chat!"
"Bye Chelsea, I really wish I could stay. But I have to check my facebook."
Boy 1 attends a facebook event at his buddy's house. Upon his arrival he notices a line of people waiting to us the buddy's computer and check their facebooks.
Boy 1: "Hey, what's the line for?"
Buddy: "Oh, they're waiting to check their facebooks."
Boy 1: "Oh, hey I'm next. I need to know what happened in the two minutes it took me to walk to your house."
Boy 2 (who has just checked his, thenlogged off and walked to the end of the line) Wait your turn kid.
by notsheila September 1, 2009
Get the Facebook mug.Replacing your profile pic with one of you and your spouse at the same time as them just before linking relationship statuses. Thus two circles of friends are informed and sent a pair (2) of pictures of the happy couple!
"Did you see Alvin got Facebook Engaged ?"
"Yeah, his profile said he's now in a relationship with Linda and there were two pictures of them together."
"Man, we better start planning his bachelor party!"
"Yeah, his profile said he's now in a relationship with Linda and there were two pictures of them together."
"Man, we better start planning his bachelor party!"
by rezinagro January 23, 2009
Get the Facebook Engaged mug.A person who uses facebook and uses the "go offline" function. You can see them writing on other users walls, taking quizzes, changing their status etc. But when you want to chat with them, they appear to be offline.
Guy 1: "Hey, the other day i was on facebook and i saw you writing on peoples walls, but it said you were offline. Thanks for being a facebook phantom, i really needed to talk to somebody about my mother...she died..."
Guy 2:" Oh yeah, right when you got on i clicked "go offline". you always want to talk to be about the stupidest things."
Guy 1: ...
Guy 2:" Oh yeah, right when you got on i clicked "go offline". you always want to talk to be about the stupidest things."
Guy 1: ...
by JuniorFrosty91 June 20, 2009
Get the Facebook Phantom mug.A person on facebook who uses pictures of animals as their default picture in an attempt to make them selves look more attractive than they really are.
I just met this facebook animal doppelganger at starbucks her fucken dog looks prettier than her. I would rather bang the dog instead of her.
by the pretty ugly hybrid February 10, 2010
Get the facebook animal doppelganger mug.