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Hooking the Clam

Hooking the clam is a coming of age sex gamepracticed in the working men's clubs of South Yorkshire, it involves around eight 'sturdy young men' and a couple of chubby barmaids, one of the barmaids strips off and is strapped speadeagle to the 'clam table' and is liberally coated from foot to chin in beef lard. The young men strip off and form an orderly queue in front of the second barmaid who is seated and begins to fellate the first in line to the brink of orgasm, he must then fully erect perform a belly slide along the greasy barmaid and attempt to 'hook the clam' by positioning his member inside the barmaids clam and ejaculating on call. A points system is applied to other places of ejaculation, the ankles one point, the knees or thighs two points and to hook the clam five points, if he should overshoot and hit the stomach or breasts foul is called. The winner is paraded around the local village and must take the barmaid on a paid night out.
Albert: "It's clam hooking time at the club tonight Jim"
Jim: "Aye if I was a betting man I'd say our young Mick is going to be hooking the clam"
by IntoxicaSean April 10, 2020
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The Mud Clam

When a female shits herself and squishes it up between her pussy lips :3
Yeah Karen? You look like you have a raging The Mud Clam right now.
by bungurtfungertmalungertjungert January 30, 2025
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In the clams mouth

Being in a very bad situation
Hey did you study for the test? No, did you? No, oh man were in the clams mouth now!
by Twiisted February 8, 2019
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Slammin clam

When your playing golf and 2 balls collide on the green.
Slammin clams: “You hit my ball, we’ve slammed clams”.
by Dthedrick August 15, 2025
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Clam Bake

Y'all ready for a clam bake
by Jos666 May 4, 2019
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Bearded clam

Bearded clam:
A soy boy, white night, male feminist that wears a beard that is immensely disproportionate to his diminished masculinity.
Dude, this 100 lb. guy walked into the cigar shop with skinny jeans, a man bun and a huge beard, what a bearded clam he was!
by thinkinman February 18, 2020
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clam bun

That fat dyke is totally rocking a clam bun
by Vebonay July 1, 2017
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