International Boner Scale 

Standard universal tool used to rate the respective flaccidity or turgidness of a male's genitals in any situation worth officially documenting:

1 Completely Flaccid
2 Stirring of the Loins
3 Beginning to Lift
4 Fun, Yet Floppy
5 Nursing the Perfect Semi
6 Veins & Details Appear
7 Hot to Touch
8 Rebounds to Hit the Stomach
9 Moves of its Own Accord*
10 Permanent Erection**
---------------------------------
*Must be able to perform one complete cock push-up.
**Only achievable through Viagra/Cocaine - requires surgical removal.

In England:

Josh: "Jesus man, does Max have a boner??"
Ross: "Aye, about a 6 on the International Boner Scale, no doubt"
Josh: "Yeah, I'd agree with that"

En France:

Jacques: "Zut alors! Max, a-t-il la trique??!"
Sébastien: "Ouais... Un six selon l'échelle internationale des érections"
Jacques: "Ben je suis d'accord..."

International Boner Scale by shanghaiunderground September 10, 2009

pop a boner 

The phenomenon that takes place when a sexually aroused male experiences a sudden or gradual rush of blood to the penis causing it to stand stiff and harden, often occuring unexpectedly in a public setting.

I always pop a boner every time I see your mom bend over

I popped a boner in Miss Goodbody's math class just before she asked me to solve a problem on the board

pop a boner by streetsouljah November 2, 2009

bruce boner 

A bruce boner is an erection with such colossal force and magnitude that, like Bruce Banner when he becomes the Incredible Hulk, it rips straight through the owner's pants.

Zeus: Hey, why is there a huge whole in your pants?
Ares: I saw Aphrodite last night and popped a huge bruce boner.

bruce boner by MC Spartan-117 July 7, 2008

hash-slinging boner 

a whore working at the krusty PUSSY, chopped off his cock and replaced it with a rusty DILDO

the hash-slinging boner used to be a WHORE just like you

hash-slinging boner by asdfmotherfuckingamzee August 8, 2014

belt boner 

Terminology used to describe the state of a boner having been re-adjusted to be concealed underneath the belt. Essential for walking out of class without pole-vaulting yourself into the hallway. Also known as a "stealth boner".

daaamnnn, I thought I had my belt boner in place when I went to give the presentation, but after a few minutes everyone started throwing spitballs at my crotch for some reason and then I came in my pants and everyone hated me

belt boner by NMC December 15, 2004

Fear Boner 

Sexual arousal brought on by the excitement and/or anticipation of something that would otherwise be terrifying to a normal person.

Watching the trailer for ‘IT 2’ gave me a raging Fear Boner.

Fear Boner by Dean Wilton May 10, 2019

Reverse-Boner

When you see something so horrific, such as a disgusting girl/guy, it makes you penis want to go back inside of your body. A reverse-boner is rare and the sight you must see to induce a reverse-boner is beyond scarring. You will want to cry when you see the object or human that makes you want a reverse-boner.

Example 1
Guy 1: "Dude did you see Sarah Jessica Parker in her new movie????"
Guy 2: "Yeah bro she gave me a reverse-boner"
Example 2
Guy 1: "Did you go to the hospital yesterday?"
Guy 2: "Yeah a saw your girlfriend changing and i got a furious reverse-boner"

Reverse-Boner by Themasterofreverse-boners November 10, 2011