When one uses their own mangled hand to masterbate and/or digitally sodomize themself. Injury should be lawnmower or blender related.
"Ashley thought it was weird when I lifted up my sack and started giving my asshole the good old Kandis Hand"
by Nate lowry January 3, 2010
Get the Kandis hand mug.Hands that fuck whatever they touch. Beyond clumsy.
Person with sexy hands will drop or break everything that is touched. Will crash a computer by pressing one button on the keyboard. The person is useless at ball sports (couldn't catch a flu during a pandemic). For a guy with sexy hands it can take years to get to second base with a girl as he always ends up accidentally injuring them (eg: accidental punch in the head when taking sweater off, will never be able to take bra off, is the type of person that will accidentally head butt a girl when attempting to kiss her, etc)
Person with sexy hands will drop or break everything that is touched. Will crash a computer by pressing one button on the keyboard. The person is useless at ball sports (couldn't catch a flu during a pandemic). For a guy with sexy hands it can take years to get to second base with a girl as he always ends up accidentally injuring them (eg: accidental punch in the head when taking sweater off, will never be able to take bra off, is the type of person that will accidentally head butt a girl when attempting to kiss her, etc)
Sean and Brittany are preparing for a party at their new apartment. Todd is helping.
Sean: did you ask Todd to carry the box out of the car?
Brittany: sure, why?
Sean: that box contains all of our wine! Todd has sexy hands! he is guaranteed to drop the box and smash all of our booze for tonight. what the fuck are we going to drink now?? look outside, I bet you he hasn't even got up the drive way in one piece. I bet you that it is goddam hiroshima of alcohol out there right now!
Brittany: I thought you told me that he had sexy feet?
Sean: he does!
Sean: did you ask Todd to carry the box out of the car?
Brittany: sure, why?
Sean: that box contains all of our wine! Todd has sexy hands! he is guaranteed to drop the box and smash all of our booze for tonight. what the fuck are we going to drink now?? look outside, I bet you he hasn't even got up the drive way in one piece. I bet you that it is goddam hiroshima of alcohol out there right now!
Brittany: I thought you told me that he had sexy feet?
Sean: he does!
by Fist of fury August 31, 2013
Get the sexy hands mug.When you have a sore in the middle of your hand. Either from a blister or a cut, in place where jesus got nailed to the cross.
by thebubbler June 12, 2011
Get the Jesus Hand mug.When you go to wipe your ass and either A) the toilet paper you've chosen to use fails resulting in shit all of your hand. B) Said toilet paper does not exist or C) Somehow shit actually finds it way onto your hand.
Also related: Poop Thumb (Which is a lessor case of above - Shit Hand)
Also related: Poop Thumb (Which is a lessor case of above - Shit Hand)
I was in the toilet when my toilet paper ripped in half, so I have a severe case of shit hand right now.
Ever have poopthumb? Well I have shit hand, that is a whole other list of problems.
Ever have poopthumb? Well I have shit hand, that is a whole other list of problems.
by BiggyBigs April 18, 2010
Get the Shit Hand mug.Last year at EDC this group of girls called me over to join their hand orgy. Then one stuck a lotion-drenched hand down my pants
by Mufassa69 July 22, 2010
Get the hand orgy mug.by leroy jenkins June 20, 2006
Get the Captain's Hand mug.by xaneks November 17, 2016
Get the Emperor's Hand mug.