An adjective that describes being caught in the act of porking out on forbidden food. Like flies swarm to shit, so fat fucks swarm to fridges at night.
by Wizards Sleeve June 26, 2005
Get the fat handedmug. Hands that fuck whatever they touch. Beyond clumsy.
Person with sexy hands will drop or break everything that is touched. Will crash a computer by pressing one button on the keyboard. The person is useless at ball sports (couldn't catch a flu during a pandemic). For a guy with sexy hands it can take years to get to second base with a girl as he always ends up accidentally injuring them (eg: accidental punch in the head when taking sweater off, will never be able to take bra off, is the type of person that will accidentally head butt a girl when attempting to kiss her, etc)
Person with sexy hands will drop or break everything that is touched. Will crash a computer by pressing one button on the keyboard. The person is useless at ball sports (couldn't catch a flu during a pandemic). For a guy with sexy hands it can take years to get to second base with a girl as he always ends up accidentally injuring them (eg: accidental punch in the head when taking sweater off, will never be able to take bra off, is the type of person that will accidentally head butt a girl when attempting to kiss her, etc)
Sean and Brittany are preparing for a party at their new apartment. Todd is helping.
Sean: did you ask Todd to carry the box out of the car?
Brittany: sure, why?
Sean: that box contains all of our wine! Todd has sexy hands! he is guaranteed to drop the box and smash all of our booze for tonight. what the fuck are we going to drink now?? look outside, I bet you he hasn't even got up the drive way in one piece. I bet you that it is goddam hiroshima of alcohol out there right now!
Brittany: I thought you told me that he had sexy feet?
Sean: he does!
Sean: did you ask Todd to carry the box out of the car?
Brittany: sure, why?
Sean: that box contains all of our wine! Todd has sexy hands! he is guaranteed to drop the box and smash all of our booze for tonight. what the fuck are we going to drink now?? look outside, I bet you he hasn't even got up the drive way in one piece. I bet you that it is goddam hiroshima of alcohol out there right now!
Brittany: I thought you told me that he had sexy feet?
Sean: he does!
by Fist of fury August 31, 2013
Get the sexy handsmug. by xaneks November 17, 2016
Get the Emperor's Handmug. by leroy jenkins June 20, 2006
Get the Captain's Handmug. by SweetLoveMaker March 27, 2019
Get the Hairy Handsmug. Jam Hands (aka: J H) can be defined as one who cannot avoid keeping their hands free of the most undesirable sticky messes one could possibly accumulate on their hands. Some examples of this are: JAM, chocolate ... anything food related really, also many unmentionables such as their own expectorant. Sometimes they can go days without knowing this and actually amass more of a Jam Hands situation which can spread to other body parts, clothing (pudding shirt) and namely on top of their already jammy hands: this is known as Jam Hands Hoarding.
However, Jam Hands are known for their sharing. They like to mark their territory and think this is amazing, a gesture of unity. However, it is disgusting. Once you have observed a jam hands you will be quick to notice smears or other texturized traces that the Jam Hands leaves behind. You will learn the definition of repulsed.
Friends or observant people who are well aware of when a Jam Hands is in the room, tend to keep a 30 feet minimum distance from the Jam Hands at large and are quick to use public/personal hand sanitizer if available when an accidental/forced encounter with the jam hands or a certain surface that the Jam Hands has touched, has occurred.
However, Jam Hands are known for their sharing. They like to mark their territory and think this is amazing, a gesture of unity. However, it is disgusting. Once you have observed a jam hands you will be quick to notice smears or other texturized traces that the Jam Hands leaves behind. You will learn the definition of repulsed.
Friends or observant people who are well aware of when a Jam Hands is in the room, tend to keep a 30 feet minimum distance from the Jam Hands at large and are quick to use public/personal hand sanitizer if available when an accidental/forced encounter with the jam hands or a certain surface that the Jam Hands has touched, has occurred.
"Daniel, keep your filthy jam hands away from me... oh gross it's in your hair now!"
Example: the kid from your third grade class, that smelt musky, who wore the same shirt every day for 2 weeks, that had 20 different types of chocolate stains on it, and would eat popsicles and the popsicle would melt onto his hands and then fabric fuzz would get stuck to the popsicle mess on his hands, and then he'd have yesterdays gravy on his face and it would be french kiss friday and people would dare you to kiss him and you would slightly vomit at the thought of it in your mouth, and the teacher would dump his desk on clean up monday and grilled cheese sandwiches from 2 months ago would fall out. Jam hands + Jam hands hoarding.
Example: the kid from your third grade class, that smelt musky, who wore the same shirt every day for 2 weeks, that had 20 different types of chocolate stains on it, and would eat popsicles and the popsicle would melt onto his hands and then fabric fuzz would get stuck to the popsicle mess on his hands, and then he'd have yesterdays gravy on his face and it would be french kiss friday and people would dare you to kiss him and you would slightly vomit at the thought of it in your mouth, and the teacher would dump his desk on clean up monday and grilled cheese sandwiches from 2 months ago would fall out. Jam hands + Jam hands hoarding.
by notajamhands March 20, 2011
Get the Jam Handsmug. Last year at EDC this group of girls called me over to join their hand orgy. Then one stuck a lotion-drenched hand down my pants
by Mufassa69 July 22, 2010
Get the hand orgymug.