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Jesus Hand

When you have a sore in the middle of your hand. Either from a blister or a cut, in place where jesus got nailed to the cross.
'man all this screwing has given me a jesus hand'.
by thebubbler June 12, 2011
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Captain's Hand

the hand ya beat ur captain with
phil you just shook his captain's hand!!!!
by leroy jenkins June 20, 2006
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fat handed

An adjective that describes being caught in the act of porking out on forbidden food. Like flies swarm to shit, so fat fucks swarm to fridges at night.
"I put a ham in the fridge and caught that chunk ass Janelle fat handed at 3am eating it."
by Wizards Sleeve June 26, 2005
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mad hand

Skills so incredible that they have the effect on observers of an excellent handjob.
I would like to make sweet sweet love to your show four times a day for the next year and have 5000 little babies running around to keep giving me mad hand... Oh my God that mad, mad hand. Please never go off the air because all the joy will be exhausted from my life and I will probably kill a family of bunny rabbits before turning the shotgun on myself.
by Jenandra May 26, 2008
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Emperor's Hand

The hand of the holy God Emperor of mankind in the warhammer 40'000 universe
I fapped to a picture of the Emperor's Hand today. FOR THE EMPEROR'S GLORY!
by xaneks November 17, 2016
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Hairy Hands

If someone says your hands are hairy it means you masterbate regulary.
You have hairy hands! WANKER!
by SweetLoveMaker March 27, 2019
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sexy hands

Hands that fuck whatever they touch. Beyond clumsy.

Person with sexy hands will drop or break everything that is touched. Will crash a computer by pressing one button on the keyboard. The person is useless at ball sports (couldn't catch a flu during a pandemic). For a guy with sexy hands it can take years to get to second base with a girl as he always ends up accidentally injuring them (eg: accidental punch in the head when taking sweater off, will never be able to take bra off, is the type of person that will accidentally head butt a girl when attempting to kiss her, etc)
Sean and Brittany are preparing for a party at their new apartment. Todd is helping.

Sean: did you ask Todd to carry the box out of the car?
Brittany: sure, why?
Sean: that box contains all of our wine! Todd has sexy hands! he is guaranteed to drop the box and smash all of our booze for tonight. what the fuck are we going to drink now?? look outside, I bet you he hasn't even got up the drive way in one piece. I bet you that it is goddam hiroshima of alcohol out there right now!
Brittany: I thought you told me that he had sexy feet?
Sean: he does!
by Fist of fury August 31, 2013
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