virtual morning wood

the erection caused by taking a nap instead of a whole night's sleep. Instead of true morning wood, it is a phallic fallacy.

Mah: "Man, after this nice long nap, I think I'm going to have to go out back and chop this virtual morning wood."

virtual morning wood by SuterLareau February 23, 2011

monday morning quarterback

Used to describe monday morning's on the toilet when your poop is only quarter-way out of your butt and doesn't want to come out just yet...thus making it a long process to finish

"why were you late for work today?"
"i had a monday morning quarterback"
"oh i see, carry on"

monday morning quarterback by mmqer January 17, 2019

Christmas Morning 

That special time in a young man's life when its 7 o'clock in the morning on December 25th, and out of excitement he runs down the stairs at full speed, not expecting a sudden pain as his newly fallen balls flap against his thigh. This right of passage makes you think twice about running down the stairs next year.

Guys, i'm only 10 but this year was my Christmas Morning!

Christmas Morning by DiabloRain November 8, 2010

Good Morning America 

At an all male sleepover, whoever falls asleep first gets jerked off and then smacked in the face with the offending splooge covered hand... slapper must shout, "Good Morning America!" upon delivery of slap.

Bobby called his mom crying to pick him up from the sleepover after Johnny gave him the Good Morning America.

Good Morning America by JYeezie March 30, 2010

irish morning 

when you wake in the morning to a man-ish woman and the aftermath of several drunken choices breathing in your face.

"hey man... i think i killed someone the other night and i havent been able to get rid of this itch since then."

"shit sounds like one hell of an Irish morning you had."

irish morning by the seven wharfs March 17, 2014

moozing 

To do anything involving music, such as playing a musical instrument, or listening to a record.

I couldn't hear you yelling because I was too busy moozing on my guitar.

moozing by PseudoD January 17, 2009

Morningtorium 

A doomed attempt to give up an unhealthy habit--starting tomorrow.

After eating six bowls of Crunch Berries, I called a morningtorium on sugary cereals.

Morningtorium by Elvisstilllives December 8, 2009