Bloody Crumpet

When you give a girl oral when she's on her period.

Guy 1: Damn, I had to give my girl head last night, but she's on her period!
Guy 2: So it was a bloody crumpet?

by cityondown123426 June 2, 2008

Soggy Crumpet

Another male masturbating game similar to soggy biscuit, but much worse as the target is now a crumpet (a much more absorbent vessel). Participants must circle jerk onto the crumpet. Whoever comes first is deemed the winner and the loser must eat the cum-loaded crumpet.

Soggy biscuit? That's nothing, try soggy crumpet!

by yoshi12 October 10, 2014

cheeky crumpet

Tight pussy. Nice vagina

I'd love to eat that cheeky crumpet

by Zillion May 14, 2016

gourmet crumpet

A nice “bit of crumpet” who is gourmet in her sexual flexiblitly: in particular, receiving pleasure by watching and facilitating her man in to a ménage a trois. And/or is orally fixated.

.oh Mella ..shes amazing and loves watching me fuck other girls and joining in just at the right moment to get us all to cum at the same time... she really is Gourmet Crumpet.

by Oblique Geek January 12, 2018

slut crumpet

A british whore

Guy 1: My mom's in the hospital because of the sex.
Guy 2: She's such a slut crumpet.

by Jhintop April 24, 2019

Gravy Crumpet

A sexual act - rimming someone with explosive diarrhoea.

Oh man, I was with Joe last night, we drank Moviprep and gave each other the Gravy Crumpet. Best night I've ever had.

by Legandor January 8, 2022

Cock Crumpet

A very sexually desirable and attractive person.

I haven’t seen him all weekend. He’s got a new bit of Cock crumpet.

by Petunia Fortunia March 5, 2022