Mall-Security

A position of a Security officer in a mall that works to keep douchbaggary to a minimum, and offer information and help to people actually there to shop.

Example #1. Mall-Security just kicked that guy out because he was being loud and disruptive and used foul language, I am so thankful that that douchbag has left the building.

Example #2. That Mall-Security officer was extremely friendly and helpful when I couldn't find the restrooms.

by intent January 9, 2008

social security

A federally run scam that pays less than 1% interest, even though the average inflation tax rate is about 2% year.

Pouring money into this system is pouring your money down a rathole, even though we are required by federal law to do it, most likely so that the criminals in D.C can pilfer it for their own needs.

Social Security is a terrible investment, it's better to invest your money into low-risk mutual funds instead.

by Anna Bananas January 7, 2008

Security Wipe

When you swab your ass after an extremely satisfying, hard, clean shit, and the paper comes up clean. AKA one wiper.

Credit to DB in MO.

Man, that was an awesome shit! I only needed a security wipe!

by JH in Missouri October 13, 2008

The Security

A trusted friend who accepts responsibility for the safety of the group. He likes to observe and naturally watches out for his group. He watches every other members back. The Security likes to take space from the rest of the group sometimes just observing from across the room. He doesn't mind the alone time.

"yo, over there is The Security. Don't worry, you are cool."

by Michael C. Crawford Jr. April 20, 2008

security mom

2004, noun. A term recently coined to refer to middle class women (particularly soccer moms) who will vote for Bush instead of Kerry in the 2004 presidential election based on his perceived superiority in defense issues. Such voters are supposed to vote for Bush, when they might otherwise vote for Kerry, based on this tenuous belief.

Martha's a security mom. She thinks the war in Iraq made sense.

by Cory October 24, 2004

Social Security

A duh-weebish Administration within the U.S. government that is so incoherently ran that if NASA operated the way they do, ALL their shuttles would explode.

NASA may kill off 7 people now and then, but the Social Security Administration probably kills off 7 people every day.

by Downstrike May 31, 2004

Homeland Security Advisory System

a system of fear tactics to keep the uninformed, ignorant, and resistant masses under the government's control. The System is divided into 5 risk levels; Severe, High, elevated, guarded, and low. its rarely Low because there is WMDs and "insurgents" in Iraq. It is really convenient to raise the alert before a political event where there may be protestors-I mean terrorists.

The Homeland Security Advisory System was raised to orange August 1, 2004 weeks before the GOP convention.

by Commie Bastard March 28, 2005